As the caregiver for an older adult, another thing that can cause you added stress is pressure from family and friends to continue holiday celebrations the same way they have been done in the past.
Nothing can ruin a holiday faster than trying to do too much at one time. Feeling as though you have to do all of the preparations for the festivities by yourself can be a recipe for disaster. Trying to get the perfect gifts, decorate exactly the way you have in previous years and cooking the same meals can be overwhelming.
To combat feelings of being out of control, Dunham's suggestions include:
- Thinking about what you and your loved one need, not what others expect of you.
- Being realistic.
- Accepting help if others offer and asking for help when you need it. It makes other people feel good to help those they care about.
- Prioritizing holiday tasks. Decide which decorations are most important and compromise. Maybe you can put up the tree lights and the mantle decorations, but skip the outside lights. It's the same idea for dinner. Don't make a ham, a turkey, macaroni and cheese, sweet potatoes and mashed potatoes. Just make two or three things instead of six or seven. You could also start a new tradition of a potluck meal, where everyone brings a dish.
- Changing the time of dinner from evening to afternoon. Many older people get tired and may get more out of an earlier meal.
- Making lists. It often helps to see what you are accomplishing one item at a time, and it makes you feel good to cross completed jobs off your list.