How-To Handle Awkward Incontinence Incidences

Good heavens, laying an adult on the floor? You'd never get them up! Who writes these things anyway?

Unbelievable! Not only is there a problem with getting the person back on their feet, it's utterly disgusting and totally undignified! Here's how I do it with my mother if a diaper change is required in a public restroom: if wearing a skirt or dress, lift and tuck the skirt/dress while the elderly personfirmly holds on to the bars in the handicapped stall or the walker, pull down the diapers, assist the person with lifting first one leg then the other out of the used diapers, then assist the person with lifting one leg at at time while putting on the new diaper, pull up the pants, untuck the skirt/dress, and you're set to go. With pants, you'll have to remove the pants first or, if possible, together with the diapers, before putting the new diapers back on, followed by the pants. Key here is that the elderly person is stabilized/balanced throughout the entire process AND that you verbally conveyed every step of the process, even asking things like "Are you ready for me to now pull the pants down?" and directing them to lift, for example, the right leg even if you are doing all the lifting to get their foot off the ground or out of the shoe, etc. Making sure the person is physically stable and aware of what is taking place will make the process safe and relatively easy, especially after it's been done a few times.

Thanks PD for confirming my astonishment on this one....problem is, I have a father and I would go into the family restroom and hopefully there is one! If not...hmmm.

Good point, Newtonjoyce. If it were me, I'd make sure no one is in the ladies' room or wait until it's empty and then take my father into the handicapped stall. Upon completion, I'd wait until the coast is clear and then exit with him. Women will probably be more understanding of a woman wiht her elderly, handicapped father in the ladies' room than men would be of a vibrant young woman walking past them at the urinals in the men's room! ;-) Fortunately, more and more places have a "family rest room" that's unisex and, as our population continues to age, more will surely be installed. Also, if it's a restaurant rest room or such, it wouldn't hurt to ask the manager where they recommend you and your father go. Perhaps they have one employee bathroom (that's automatically unisex) that you could use. Difficult situations, for sure.

OMG really? Lay my Mom on a filthy public restroom floor? I would no more do that than lay my child - or myself - on one. Who writes this stuff????

If Mom or dad is able to lay down on a hard bathrrom floor - and then get up from their - they are certainly able to sit on a toilet!
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If there is a 'little' accident, and you'll be home shortly, tie a sweater or jacket around their bum - It's fashionable, expedient, and one should always have a sweter or jacket along anyway with the elderly when going out - some places are simply too cold.

I agree with all the comments!! Thank God my in-laws do not care to go out in the public anymore! My father in law is incontinent and I would never put him on a public restroom floor!

What do you do with the soiled items after changing? They are too large and bulky to discard in the sanitary napkin bin. Or anywhere for that matter if you are an adult and have incontinence but still travel, visit friends, go out to eat what do you do with the soiled items after changing them?

My father use the bathroom in the nursing home where he visits my mother daily. He wears depends and probably waits too long and, as a result, urine is everywhere in the little bathroom. Staff has to clean it up. The director called me and I am looking for a tactful way to approach him on this matter. I have placed a call to his doctor who, I hope, may be willing to approach him regarding this matter. Is it appropriate for staff, doctor or his children to request that he sit down to urinate?

If I had no problems telling a former boyfriend, years ago, to sit down to urinate when he was at my place because he was careless with his aim, well, then I see no problem with you or someone else telling your incontinent father to do the same! (Hope this has you smiling a bit...A bit of humor, especially when it's true, has its place sometimes!)

Hello AnnieO
They offer disposal bags for adults with incontinence. This will give your father a discreet, convenient and dignified way of disposing of these items. The bags are really easy to handle with a draw string to tie them closed. He can bring it along with a change of depends. I would just give him some bags and let him know to take it in with him to the bathroom. Everyone wants to be independent and imagine how this makes him feel to have this problem as an adult, a father, a husband. Giving him a solution will make it easy for him and I am sure the staff at the nursing home will appreciate it too! Good luck!