Getting a Hearing Test

My mother jokes that my father has "selective hearing". But the reality is that his hearing is shot. He refuses to wear a hearing aid. And when we do get him to use one, he says it doesn't work and he is better off without it. How do you change this behavior?

I am not an audiologist but I wonder about the type of hearing aid he received. Getting a hearing aid is not like getting glasses, adjustments may need to be made. Perhaps he needs a different type of hearing aid?

Getting a personal amplifier may be a solution, but he still would need to use it. Personal amplifiers are handheld devices that can be used with a headset or earphone.
Just make sure you get a quality personal amplifier. (There are a lot of cheap and low quality brands on the market.) A popular brand that has been on the market a long time is the Pocketalker.

Good luck!

my mother at 88 refuses to get her ears tested, she will not admit to being hard of hearing. She uses the excuse that her ears are filled with wax. She is almost deaf at this point, plus she tries to self treat herself with putting olive oil in her ears to soften the so called hard wax. I am just so frustrated in how to deal with this. She is isolating herself from everyone because it is so difficult for anyone to call and talk to her. She only hears about 20% of what is being said.

I work at Harris Communications, a company that sells assistive devices for deaf and hard of hearing people. We have found it is very common for people to be in denial about their hearing loss. Something that often happens is when given the opportunity to use an amplified device, the person with the hearing loss suddenly discovers that his/her hearing could be better. I would suggest getting her an amplified phone. When you can't communicate on the phone, there can be a real safety issue, particularly if a parent lives alone. There are many models of phones available for mild to severe hearing loss. The phones for severe hearing loss have decibel ratings up to 60 decibels. (They have adjustable tone and volume controls so a person can adjust to his/her hearing needs. The adjustable tone controls are helpful because people lose their hearing in different frequencies. Just having a loud phone will not address her specific hearing loss.)
You can get some pretty basic corded phones without all the bells and whistles. You may have to pay around $150 for an amplified phone but it usually is worth it. (If the phone doesn't work for her, most reputable companies have a 30 day return policy.)
Ideally it would be best for your mother to get her ears tested but there are a lot of phones and other assistive devices available that can help her hear. Try to find quality listening devices. You may pay more but they will end up being used.

In Washington State, the Office of Deafness and Hard of Hearing would be a resource for you. I imagime most states have similar agencies. The nonprofit that I work for is part of their telephone distribution program that provides adaptive phones for the hard of hearing and also for nonverbal clients. Frequently this is at no cost to the client.
My husband has two hearing aids and they frequently drive him crazy and is frequently having them repaired and adjusted. Thank goodness he is wise enough to realized that the alternative - not using them - would severely impact our live together. My MIL on the other hand, refuses to consider aids and gets defensive when she misses out on a conversation and thinks we are keeping things from her. It is quite the merry-go-round.