My Elderly Parent Will Be Miserable in a Nursing Home

Very good article. People must understand nursing homes have changed and must adhere to certain standards as mandated by the department of public health
Susan Berg, author and dementia healthcare professional

This article about nursing homes is very accurate and timely. Similar to when you may have looked for a day care center for a child, the child day care center's director is the key. In a nursing home, the administrator/management is the most important part of a caring nursing home.

Bob, experienced professional in the healthcare industry for equipment/supplies

I think the director of nurses is also extremely important
Susan Berg
author and dementia healthcare professional

Sorry to burst your bubble, but this article is lovely, but not realistic - unless you have money and are a relative of the administrator. I notice that the only people commenting on this article are in the industry. Speaking from "both sides of the fence" the truth is that in a recent poll in LTC Magazine 90% of the vote on the question: I wouldn't want to be a resident in my own nursing home - be it SNF, LTC, Assisted Living, etc.

Where are these lovely nursing homes where everyone visits - eats in the dining room and plays games? In a movie? I haven't seen any in Los Angeles County that were not high-end private pay. Sorry - aren't out there.

As far as Medi-Cal versus private pay goes - it is very nice to say that there is no difference - and you are right, it is mandated that there be no difference in care - but there is. Regardless of where the blame lies, the industry is run as FOR PROFIT and with Medicare, HMO and Medi-programs cutting reimbursable amounts it is a perfect storm of problems, an aging infrastructure, low paying jobs and a patient population that is many times in no position to object. Yes there is an Ombudsman, but abuses do occur and it is impossible to regulate things like "not caring" -

I invite everyone to spend 7 days as a patient - in fact that is the only thing that will change the system.

If at all possible, try to hire a live in before placing into a nursing home. My mom has been in 2 nursing homes

My comment got cut off. Anyway, Mom has been to 2 different nursing homes and while there are caring CNA's & RN/LPN's, who do their job, most facilities are short staffed and residents receive minimal care & are ignored for the most part. Mom has lost 12 lbs in less than 2 months and her care has not been anything like what we were told it would be. I've had CNA's ask me if I knew how to transfer mom into bed because they weren't sure! Yes, it's been reported. After 2 failed attempts & her health in jeopardy, we are now hiring a live in and will have more peace of mind knowing she is at home where we can take care of her better than the nursing homes we've had experience with. Hiring a live in is actually saving us money - you have to do alot of reference checking & CORI checks, but we've had good luck in finding a few great, experienced people eager to help just by placing an ad in the local newspaper.

I agree with Cat and momsdaughter- there is no such thing as a good nursing home. this article is very inaccurate and misleading.
there is alot of work that needs to be done about the lack of care and lack of humanity in nursing homes.
i do not have time at the moment to fully comment on this article, but i will at a later date.

That is really too bad. The nursng home I work for while not perfect is much better than you describe. The majority of our staff are kind caring people who work extremely hard to make things as comfortable as possible
There are some over demanding unrealistic family members out there that take up a lot of time. This is time away from the other residents.
I work for a non profit home. But we do have to meet expenses and upkeep.
I think the key is having an administrator who is kind and allows certain expenses
Also important is a top notch on the ball director of nurses and assistant director who keeps the nurses and CNAs in line. You need ones that know the residents, are not afraid to get their hands dirty and will work more than the 40 hours they get paid for
by Susan Berg

Dear Susan,

Thank you very much for your thoughts - I am wondering what city/state and non-profit your nursing home is - it sounds very nice. Does it take Medi/Medi? Are you also caring for someone directly yourself? I do ask that question kindly as you didn't identify yourself as such. I do ask the question kindly - it is not adversarial.

To reiterate what I said, yes, there are some caring people - and it is technically up to the DON, Administrator, Activity Director, SW, Facilities, Kitchen, Maintenance, Laundry, CNAs, Per Diem nurses and all of them. BUT this is a caregiver site and I believe that sometimes, it would be good to embrace the idea that we deserve *respect* and a safe place to talk about our opinions - including the good, bad and ugly of nursing homes.

I orignally had written more, but was cut off by the time before I had to log in again - so rather than start over - in a nutshell - if you are a caregiver, great. If not, perhaps you will learn more from our complaints and you can take those comments as honest feedback. My mother would have lasted about 3 months in a nursing home - but gong on seven years she is fine. Because caregivers do more than any staff would and they do it because.

Once again - rather than praising an outdated system of care - the SNF - LTC facililty - please recognize that we as family caregivers are not subsidized, paid, recognized or supported but we each do all of the work that it takes a facilty to do - on top of our regular daily lives. Perhaps if you want to be cutting edge at your facility, you will build some programs for low cost - or free subsidized respite for caregivers on a day program. we need it.

I hear what you are saying. We do offer respite care. Occasionally we even have contests so one family can have a weekend of respite care at no cost. I do recog nize what caregivers do. We welcome family members to come in as often as they like with certain guidelines. I think the ideal if your mother needs SNF care, is too be extremely involved in her day to day care. However, you do have the option to take a break every now and then to regroup and refuel.
No one said taking care of an elderly parent is easy.You know your loved one the best. I even wrote an editorial in USA Today last year about the positives of nursing homes
I think adult day care is great also if a loved one can tolerate it