As our population ages and more of our national focus is on senior care, we can find ourselves in a muddle over confusing choices. How do we decide what care our elderly mother or father needs and when do we start looking for it?
Where should Mom live?
If Mom is still living in her original home, with no one to look in on her regularly, she may be at a turning point. Many people choose to start getting help from in-home care agencies, since Mom can stay in her home longer with this help. Others feel it's time for Mom to move to assisted living. There are several things for you and your mom to look at while you consider the options.
- Are there still people in her neighborhood she knows and does she get out and about to visit friends? If she is stuck at home and there's no one nearby, she may become socially isolated in her home. In-home help can alleviate some of this loneliness and isolation, but Mom may be better off in a senior living center or even assisted living, depending on her needs.
- Companion care may even be enough. This is someone who is paid to keep an elder company. Be careful who you hire, however, since seniors are vulnerable. A good place to find senior companions, and it's often free, is to call your local Retired Senior Volunteer Program, known as RSVP. They offer senior companions, who are healthy seniors who make great friends for more frail seniors. Whether hired or volunteers, people who are only senior companions aren't going to be cooking, cleaning and giving baths. They are there to provide company.
- Senior living centers are aimed at fairly healthy seniors, but they generally offer more socialization than an elder gets if he or she lives in a home where the neighborhood has drastically changed, as so often happens. In a senior living center, Mom would probably find it easy to socialize.
- However, if mom is showing signs of needing assistance with her meals and transportation, I'd recommend looking around at assisted living centers. Assisted living centers do not generally offer nursing care, and if help with dressing and other activities of daily livings (ADLs) are needed, she'd likely still have to have the help of an in-home care agency. The advantage of assisted living over a senior living center is one of watchfulness. The staff is on alert for medical emergencies. Plus, they generally serve meals in a central dining room. Often, assisted living centers will make transportation arrangements to doctor appointments, and some of them take groups shopping. Assisted living centers are not all cut out of the same mold, so make sure you understand what services they do and don't offer per contract, and what services may be available, but would cost extra. These centers range in size from community homes with four to six residents, to large complexes.
- Many people never need more care than an assisted living center can provide, with perhaps some help from an outside in-home care agency for daily care. However, many people do need more nursing care. Diabetics often need nursing home care, as they must have their blood sugar checked often and generally only medically trained people can draw blood. People who fall often or need help to get from a bed to a chair may also need to make the move to a nursing home. Alzheimer's patients also require the medical care and supervision that a nursing home provides. The line between the two is fuzzy, as some assisted living centers can care for people longer into their frail years than others. However, the day comes for many when the assisted living center won't be enough. Nursing care is needed and the move to a skilled nursing home is next.
- At this time, you would drop the in-home care agency, as the nursing home would handle all of the needs of the elder.