Family Caregiver: Making Your Job Easier

I just found out that my mom is no longer able to take her medication as prescribed. She saves the old meds and continues to take them. I believe she is taking 3 blood pressure meds. What can I do. She wants full control of her meds etc. I really need the Dr. to give me a list of her meds. When I went to his office the nurse said that I was not on the list to receive this info. My mother does not want to give me power of attorney. I am her daughter and she lives with me.

While I appreciate these tips, even finding the time to read them feels like added stress in our lives. We are embroiled in legal issues, helping care for three incapacitated elders, and trying to raise and educate a young child. So many concerns, and too little time to manage and arrange everything! Thank goodness we have help and some of these things aren't issues! And we're thankful for a Caregiving site to vent on. Will read the above article in its entirety when the demands of the present time have eased. (As my dear old Dad would say, "About a few years from next January...") LOL

I've moved in with my 87 yo mom...........going on 3 years together now. And, I'm barely keeping up with the ongoing TO DO list.

Still have some of my own responsibilities to keep up with too, although many of them are falling by the wayside, as moms list seems to be the main focus.

Each day brings something new that needs to be added to the list and I don't see me getting caught up in this lifetime.

Who knew this stage of my life was going to be this complicated?

Dear contrary1, can relate. You're not alone in that... Please remember to take care of you, too, along the way. Best wishes!

When you say "Elderly Parents", please remember all of us who are caregiving for spouses, children, etc. who have many of the same needs and demands along with variations in disease or conditions. In my case it's my 'elderly spouse'. Thank you. RSuzyJ

These articles are interesting but dont really help with the situation I and some of you have. My Mother is bedridden, on a feeding tube, cant see or hear well and is just lying there. She can do nothing for herself so there is no way that I have time to take care of myself or anyone but her. Even my dog is suffering for attention!! I dont regret my decision to keep her at home because I know she is getting better care with me but it is exhausting and not for everyone. Some days I handle it better than others. I just have to take one day at a time.

Wow, ginger123.................I feel for you. My dad needed that type of care 10 years ago (when I was younger & in better shape) and I just couldn't swing caring for him at home. We chose the nursing home route and it was SO hard. But, I had no one here that could have assisted with 2 person transfers & moves in bed.

Can't imagine how you're coping. Your comment made me really appreciate my situation, that is for sure!

Take care!

I can relate to each of you. My 86 yo grandmother lives with me and my family. (RSuzyJ... I understand your desire to have more of us recognized. There's more us of out here who are taking care of someone other than an elderly parent.) We have two young girls who are elementary school aged. So my responsibilities are split... no time for myself.

Tiller18... Since your mother is not taking her meds as prescribed, she is putting her health at risk. She is living with you and you are her caregiver, so that should give you the right to take those meds from her. I had to do that with my grandmother. If you have to, go to an attorney to see the possibility of having a court appointed power of attorney at least over her medical condition. If the doctor will not give you her list of medications, how are you supposed to be able to properly care for her... especially if you have to take her to the ER for any reason.

Ginger123.... I know the desire you have to care for you mother. But, you have to take time to care for yourself. You must. If you don't take care of yourself, you cannot take care of her properly. If that means having nurses come in a few times a week to give you time off, then do it. Like someone else said, a nursing home is an option that is not an easy choice but it is an option. You can always go in to help her with her meals, bath, etc. Just know that if you chose this option, it IS okay. My grandmother knows that I will take care of her as long as I can; but if her care ever exceeds what I am capable of (especially since I do have two girls at home) that we will select a nursing home for her.... and she's okay with that.

I think as caregivers, we want to take care of everyone else and forget about ourselves. We cannot do that, or we will eventually be the one being taken care of and not the other way around.

Does anyone know of an insurance co that will give policy to 71 yr old 3 years post stroke life insurance

You are ALL so brave! Ginger123 I really can identify with this because the doctors have told us that my husband will need a "peg tube" soon as his swallowing will worsen with his PSP. I think this is the same as a 'feeding tube'. I will learn more as we go along but he is still eating salads, fruits and veggies and getting good nutrition and I am procrastinating anything more than is necessary. I am also dealing with his ongoing pressure sore which gets better then worse then better, etc. He isn't bedridden, but I know with any form of Parkinson's disease, that it is a matter of time. I am optimistic as to my abilities for the most part now, however, I am considering having helpers come to help with part-time care soon and also people to help him walk with his walker. A big issue for me is privacy. Because we live in a small RV and I am a very private person, I am not yet comfortable with someone coming in and sharing our space. Only time will tell. I certainly can identify with everyone's issues about nursing home vs home care. We all seem to be dealing with this. Hugs to All! RSuzyJ