How will you be treated this year, when the family comes to town? Will you be shown respect and concern for all you do? Or will you be criticized by siblings who, likely out of unrecognized guilt, treat you as if you don't do anything right? If it's the latter, you need to plan now to take a firm stance. You need to protect yourself. And if you can't do it alone, you need to ask for help, with a third party to control the group.
A pastor or Rabi might help. Certainly, a geriatric care manager would be great, if you can afford one. But even a friend of your family may be able to help bring some understanding and peace to your holiday by helping everyone understand what needs to be done. Some peace in the family – along with some help from the siblings – would be a most welcome holiday gift for most caregivers.
For over 20 years author, columnist and speaker Carol Bradley Bursack cared for a neighbor and six elderly family members. Because of this experience, Carol created a portable support group – the book "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories." Her sites, www.mindingourelders.com and www.mindingoureldersblogs.com include helpful links and agencies. Carol's newspaper column, "Minding Our Elders," runs weekly, she speaks at many caregiver workshops and conferences and has been interviewed by national radio, newspapers and magazines. She is the moderator of the AgingCare.com forum.