Certain physical clues around your parents' home may be a red flag:
- The yard has not been maintained as it normally has (difficulty completing regular tasks)
- The house interior has not been maintained as it normally has (difficulty completing regular tasks)
- Automobile dents and scratches could indicate impaired driving ability
- Carpet stains, perhaps caused by dropping and spilling things
- Urine odor in house (signs of incontinence)
- Pots and pans with noticeable burn marks could indicate they forgot about food on the stove and left it burning
- Unopened mail/unpaid bills may indicate difficulty completing regular tasks
- Unfilled prescriptions (difficulty completing regular tasks)
- Low food supply (difficulty completing regular tasks)
You may observe some unusual behavior by your parent:
You may notice some of the warning signs that your parent might be developing dementia, Alzheimer's or some other cognitive impairment:
- Consistent memory lapses
- Confusion
- Loss of reasoning skills
- Difficulty performing familiar tasks
- Frequently misplaces things
- Frequently gets lost walking or driving
- Repetitive speech
- Unable to complete a sentence
- Rapid mood swings or changes in behavior
- Changes in personality
- Wears the same clothes over and over
- Cannot recall names of familiar people or objects
- Loss of initiative
If you believe your parents are experiencing one or more of the above indicators, then the next step is to talk with them about their care needs in such a way that they themselves identify the problem and come up with the solutions.
It's very important that your parents are the ones making the decision to seek help and decide which option best meets their care and assistance needs. Tough decisions such as selling their home and moving elsewhere should be their own and not yours or their doctor's or some other interested parties. Put yourself in their shoes. The decision to move out of their home where they've created a very comfortable, secure environment for themselves over the years is a very traumatic change and must be handled with extreme care and sensitivity.
Mike Campbell is the author of "When Mom & Dad Need Help" and founder of Campbell Consulting Services, LLC, which provides advice to the senior housing and care industry.