Questions to Ask
This section has described what family and friends can do to provide comfort and ease to someone nearing the end of life. Here are some questions to help you learn more about what you might do.
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Ask the doctor in charge:
1. Since there is no cure, what will happen next?
2. Why are you suggesting this test or treatment?
3. Will the treatment bring physical comfort?
4. Will the treatment speed up or slow down the dying process?
5. What can we expect to happen in the coming days or weeks?
Ask the caregiver:
1. How are you doing? Do you need someone to talk with?
2. Would you like to go out for an hour or two? I could stay here while you are away.
3. Who has offered to help you? Do you want me to work with them to coordinate our efforts?
4. Can I help, maybe … walk the dog, answer the phone, go to the drug store or the grocery store, or watch the children (for example)…for you?
Decades ago, most people died at home, but medical advances have changed that. Today, most Americans are in hospitals or nursing homes at the end of their lives. Some people enter the hospital to get treated for an illness. Some may already be living in a nursing home. Increasingly, people are choosing hospice care at the end of life.
There is no "right" place to die. And, of course, where we die is not usually something we get to decide. But, if given the choice, each person and/or his or her family should consider which type of care makes the most sense, where that kind of care can be provided, whether family and friends are available to help, and, of course, how they will manage the cost.