Personal Stories from Caregivers at AARP

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Carrie Ferguson
Caring for her 85-year-old mother
Desert Shores, Nevada

Carrie attended the AARP expo with her husband, Ray, for three reasons: To find out about services available to them as senior citizens, to get information about Carrie's mother, who lives with them, and as a getaway vacation to de-stress.

"Having my mother live with me is very stressful. She's very demanding and even belligerent sometimes. I tell myself it's the Alzheimer's talking, not my mother, but its still hard. I don't want to put her in a home, and I hope it never comes to that."

Carrie says her mother's behavior continues to worsen, and her Alzheimer's wandering is also worsening. She managed to get out of the house, in the middle of the night, and the police found her more than a mile from home.

Any kinds of home care services or products to make my house safer for my mom would really help us. That's mainly what we are here to find out about."

Her husband adds, "We're always looking for financial advice and AARP so many services available to seniors that we didn't even know about."

 
 

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Irishtwin

Give a Hug

Nov 11, 2009

My 86 year old mom lives with me in PA for the past 7 years. My sister and brother live 400 miles away and do not communicate at all. I pleaded with them to call at least once a week just so mom does not feel like she was "sent" away.

I accepted this caregiving arrangement thinking it would bring us all closer and they would come and visit. This happens rarely and tensions are always high. My brother is Executor and bullies us with this. I have taken over her medical care because she was left to suffer for 9 months with jaw pain which turned out to be angina this happened in their care and when she returned she needed multiple stints. My siblings never approved of this and never approved of us taking her to Hawaii to see her grandchildren perform in their HS band. We took her anyway and she had a great time. We paid for her trip but they do not want her to enjoy life. Her quality of Life has improved so much since her doctors in PA took over.

What I wanted to know is this. Caregiving for my is fine. It is the Sibling Rivalry and games that are demoralizing and exhausting. Does AARP have an Advocacy Program for people like me. My mom has AARP and I would appreciate any advice as to the protection for caregivers against passive aggression and mental abuse. I am sure I am not alone but do not know where to turn. With Thanksgiving coming up, I just had another dispute as to our visiting with mom, etc. Please send feedback. Mom is calling, gotta go...........

 
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