Effective communication with your doctor is important for you and your family when someone you love suffers from early-onset dementia or Alzheimer's disease. Here are some tips for having the most effective doctor's appointments.
Let Them Be In Charge…If They Are Able
Your loved one wants to be in charge of their health as long as they can. When they feel like they are losing control of their independence, a common defense mechanism that dementia sufferers will use is: "It's my doctor and my appointment. I can do it on my own." In this case, try to position yourself as a partner (instead of the overseer, or dictator) of your elderly parent's health. The key is try to get your loved one to view you as a member of the health care team, rather than someone who is making them feel dumb or incompetent.
Prepare
Make a list of questions that you want to ask the doctor, so you don't forget anything when you are at the office. Again, a partnership approach, working with your loved one to prepare for the appointment, will probably work better than handing them a list of questions without asking their input.
Have Someone Accompany Them if Possible
If you can't go with them, find someone who can. A person with dementia or Alzheimer's may tend to forget important information after the appointment. Due to nervousness during the appointment, or the nature of the dementia itself, your loved one might promptly forget everything that the doctor told her.
Ask Questions
If you don't understand something while you are the appointment, ask questions until you do. Don't be afraid to speak up and to share your point of view. If you weren't at the appointment, and you have questions, follow-up with the doctor directly.
Ask the Doctor Write Things Down
Get the doctor to write everything down and then duplicate it. This proves helpful in keeping the family informed, ensuring important information isn't omitted, and providing other doctors with comprehensive records of your parent's health history.
Get Permission in Writing
As doctor's offices continue to crack down on confidentiality practices to avoid lawsuits, the physician will require a release form, signed by your parent, which gives permission him or her permission to speak with you directly about your parent's health conditions.
Let the Doctor Know Ahead of Time
People with Alzheimer's or dementia sometimes can become masters of disguise, particularly during doctor's appointments. Will your loved one seem coherent and "normal" and convince the doctor that everything is fine? Let the doctor know ahead of time about your parent's covering up, or sugar coating the truth.
Doctors are a critical member of the support structure that you'll need in caring for someone with Alzheimer's. To be successful, you may need to figure out how to become an accepted partner in your loved one's medical health, develop processes so that you and all attending doctors can stay in the loop, and provide your loved one with the impression of control for as long as possible. By taking a team approach, your loved one may give you a place.