Long-Distance Caregiving: Checking For Signs of Abuse

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From a distance, it can be hard to assess the quality of your parent's caregivers. Ideally, if there is a primary caregiver on the scene, he or she can keep tabs on how things are going. Sometimes a geriatric care manager can help. You can stay in touch by phone and take note of any concerns that might indicate neglect or mistreatment. These can happen in any setting, at any socioeconomic level. They can take many forms, including domestic violence, emotional abuse, financial abuse, and basic neglect.

The stress that may happen when adult children care for their aging parents can take a toll on everyone. In some families, abuse continues a long-standing family pattern. In others, the older adult's need for constant care can cause a caregiver to lash out verbally or physically. In some cases, especially in the mid-to-late stages of Alzheimer's disease, the older adult may become physically aggressive and difficult to manage. This might cause a caregiver to respond angrily. But no matter what the cause or who is the perpetrator, abuse and neglect are never acceptable responses.

If you feel that your parent is in physical danger, contact the authorities right away. If you suspect abuse, but do not feel there is an immediate risk, contact someone who can act on your behalf: your parent's doctor, for instance, or your contact at a home health agency. Suspected abuse must be reported to adult protective services.

 
 
 

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It is very hard to watch what is going on with your parent when it is long distance and "you think" that the people who are living close to your parent would never abuse them in any way,money,physical abuse or neglect. Don't let the police off the hook to easy eather. If you send them to do a welfare check and they say well your sister or brother said you are the one causing problems, you start calling and calling, the police, the sheriff of that county,the DA office, elder abuse hotlines, flood them with phones calls. Call their dr and just tell them what you know is going on. Have a welfare check done every few days, my brother started to move my mom around so we couldn't find her. Get a neighbor who may live next to the ones who are watching your parent if possible and have them keep an eye on what they are doing.Some times you can find out more by the neighbors watching the caregivers then sending the police over. Don't ever stop trying to do what is right no matter what or who. You can never bring back your parent after they are gone. You expect your parents at some point to not be there, but it is the way their life ended and the last few years they had,what was it like for them. It is heart breaking when you find out and it's too late to do anything that they were abused in everyway by their own flesh and blood.

 
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