How to Make Sure Mom or Dad's Wishes are Carried Out

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Here are some steps to insure that your parent's advance care planning is carried out:

  • Complete a living will and a medical power of attorney. If possible, you should consult with a lawyer or other professional regarding specific state laws or regulations related to these planning documents.
  • Ensure that your family and other important people in your life understand what your parent's wishes are, and what is included in these documents. It is particularly important to discuss your mom and dad's decisions with the individual who will be the health care proxy to be sure he/she is comfortable with that role, and can be available to carry out wishes.
  • Keep your parents' planning documents easily accessible and in multiple places. Consider having mom or dad carry a wallet card. Give copies to family members, friends, the physician's office, and/or lawyer if appropriate. It is critical that the health care proxy has a copy, or can access a copy quickly, if there is an unexpected emergency.
  • Review your parents' plans periodically to be sure they are still satisfied with their decisions, and the health proxy is still able and willing to be responsible for carrying out their plans.


For more information visit the  National Clearinghouse for Long-Term Care Information website.

 
 
 

Comments

 
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tcolling

Give a Hug

Apr 7, 2010

This is a great article. Planning ahead is one of the most powerful, and yet most often overlooked, tools for Seniors and their families.
Tim
www.TrustworthyCare.com

 
 

Heatherj43

Give a Hug

May 21, 2010

Strangely we were lucky and my mom had some kind of stroke that placed her in the hospital. They guided my sister and I with questions about her care that we just never thought about, like do we want a NRA and if she should forget how to eat do we want them to use a tube or just keep her comforatable while she dies.
My sister and I then were able to discuss these things and not at the last moment have to make such hard decisions.
We do not want measures that will keep her alive in a vegatative state and we will let her die comforatbly if she forgets how to eat. The rest of the family have heard our decisions and all have their own thoughts, but too bad. I know if my mom fogets how to eat, there is no chance she will ever remember again and to keep her alive because of our own selfishness is just not fair to her.
I find a lot of my family members will do just about anything to keep my parents alive just so they don't have to grieve and bury them. It is selfish in my opinion.
I am glad I have at least one sister who GETS it and is ready, as I am, to make these tough choices. She has guardianship of my mom. No one has guardianship of my dad yet. He is 93 and my mom is 83.
Many family members act like they are going to live forever. The denial is high!! My sister and I are the care givers and we do know they have little time left. The rest of the family are just in denial. My own 32 year old daughter bought my mom a novel the other day as a gift. My mom hasn't been able to read in a few years. Another niece took her out for 3 hours. My mom cannot be out that long. My niece was shocked as to how quickly my mom tired out. All of them are shocked when they see that my dad cannot get up from a sitting position by himself, yet they keep fogetting it. They also think both of my parents know who they are. My parents have no idea who any of us are. We tell them. Sometimes my mom will take me aside and ask me, so she won't hurt the person's feelings.
We keep family pictures around with the names of the people on the front, it helps my mom a lot in remembering who they all are, but she will tease my dad all the time and ask him, in front of the person, "do you know who that is?"!! She does that when she herelf doesn't know.
He stumbles and just shrugs his shoulders. I tell her its not fair!!
I address them when I walk in the house by saying "Hi daddy (or mom) its Heather". It saves them the fear and embarassement.

 
 

icare

Give a Hug

Jun 1, 2011

How true that addressing these issues with ones parents is difficult. But it is so important to do so. My own experiences with my elderly parents during the past 6 years challenged my logic and personal and emotional balance. Thank goodness I had the most important forms when I needed them. It wasn't just about having authority and knowing what to do. It was about honoring my parents' wishes and being able to be pro-active.
Marky

 
 

lildeb

Give a Hug

Feb 23, 2012

We could not get the mnl to talk about this so we started discussing about how ourself would like to be buried and etc. That got her into the subject and she told us what she wanted as for when that time comes.

 
  •  Comments 1 to 4 of 4 

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