Your Parent is Dying: When Is It Time to Call Hospice?

DO NOT USE NORTH PENN HOSPICE, LANSDALE, PA 19446

your doctor will tell you when is time to call hospice. usually when the patient has 6 months to live/

My mom as been on hospice 6 mths and they are a life saver. She is no were near end of life if you ask me but she needs 24/7 care. We have to feed, change and move her. I had to ask her Dr. about Hospice she did not recommend it to me. For yrs. I loaded mom up in a wheelchair van kicking a screaming for Dr. appointments. Than my cousin said to ask the Dr. if mom could get hospice and I did and she said yes. I was mad because she did not tell me sooner I could have hopice care for mom. They pay for med. supplies and a nurse and aid come out 2 twice a week. Of course mom has to show she is getting worse or they cannot keep coming but it is a slow process and with hospice not such a horrible one.

reacting to ksue5036 comment, the doctor recommended Hospice to my dying stepfather when he had just 6-12 months to live-he died 2 1/2 months later. I am glad to know that Hospice is helping you taking care of your mom. a nurse used to come 3 times a week to bath him. I am very graceful to the service they provided him. I went to my country to help my mom caring for him-he died went I was there. he died at the hospital. he hear me and he responded to me but most of the time he was unresponsive. is was very sad. he died of prostate cancer which expanded to the rest of his body. he died on my mom's arms. I am very sad for his lost but he is not suffering anymore.

I am so glad hospice was there for your dad ibarro. dying in your moms arms was a nice way to go I think . Sorry for your lose but your right he is not suffering anymore.

My mother has recently started visiting the hospice as a day patient. It is Nightingale House in Wrexham, UK. I cannot praise them enough. She does not want to stay in there 'yet' because she thinks that you go there to die - and she says she is not ready. She is dying, she has bowel cancer and it it in its latter stages. The people in the hospice are really kind, she has her hair set and nails done (she is 86 by the way) and they have taken her out on a couple of short trips. The main thing which has been pleasing for me to know is that the priest offers her communion and they pray for their 'friends' at the hospice who have passed on (three ladies this week) they have a service and light candles and have chance to talk and share feelings. the Doctor also is excellent and has offered to examin my mother - something she has been reluctant to allow as the cancer has grown. She is less afraid I think and has become reunited with her faith which is the best blessing of all. The hospice gives her comfort and I hope that when they doctor asks her to stay, it wont be too scary a prospect for her.

Hospice was a life saver for me. My 90 year old mother was in a nursing home because of dementia and then diagnosed with brain cancer. They came the day the physician sent in the order. My only suggestion for improving hospice services would be a support group for the caregivers when the loved one/patient is still alive. Hospice offers group counseling after the death of the patient. I think it would be helpful to have somebody else to talk to who is also "in the middle of it" with you. I am an only child of a widowed mother and had no one to help me with decisions.

In response to the previoous post, the Hospice-By-The-Sea in Boca Raton, Florida DOES offer caregiver support and family counseling BEFORE death. My parents refused this service because they did not believe in having pschological counseling for anything ever. Had I been able to convince them to try, it would have saved our entire family from exploding into pschological trauma, financial, legal, and property chaos, and grudges that lasted for decades after my parents' deaths.

Not all Doctors will refer you to hospice. I care for a 98 year old with CHF and ALZ to name a few. I had a nurse that came to the house once a week because she was in the hospital due to the CHF. And she agreed with me that it was time for her to have hospice come in instead of them because she is not going to get better she is going to continually get worse. I had to bring it up to him again about needing hospice for her and for myself the caregiver! He still didn't want to he kept saying it was a death sentence to go to hospice. He even has her daughter thinking the same way. When in fact they are not a death sentence, they are hope and help!! I think this doctor just wanted me to bring her back and forth to him so he could bill medicare for seeing and treating her. He kept saying they would take her off all her meds and then for sure she would die. Hospice in no way will take her off all her meds unless they feel she is getting no benefit from them and the caregiver and family also need to agree. So don't wait till the doctor wants to put them with hospice, if you really feel that it is the time to have such services then you need to do the talking. And if the doctor is un willing to do so then call Hospice yourself and they will let you know if this is the right time for them to have this service. Grandma is slowly going down hill, she just might go past 6 months. But they can still be with hospice even after the 6 months. Her BP goes way up and down for no reason, her oxygen goes up and down too. There are days she has no energy or even cares to get dressed. And then there are days she feels pretty darn good! She has lost another 6 pounds in just a couple of weeks and is now 118lbs, from 140lbs when she first came to live with me. Most of this weight loss has been over the past 6 months. My MIL still thinks that this (hospice) is too good to be true, and still has that feeling that it is a death sentence. Sometimes I think she is the one who has lost all reality, this woman will not be here forever and she is so lucky to have her for as long as she has! And giving her drugs and the such just to keep her alive when the quality of life for her is just about nothing is just so wrong! I live with this woman and hear her cry that nobody cares (my MIL only sees her maybe once a week if were lucky) and asks why am I still here. Nobody should live this long and at times she tells me to just kill her or that she just wants to die! She can't walk without help, eat, use the bathroom, get dressed. Her mind is not real good anymore either. And the worst part is she know that!! Small walks take the best of her, and she sleeps most of the time. I know in my heart and from past experience that hospice is the best thing for her at this time in her life. It is in no way a death sentence!! Its a way to leave this world in dignity, with the best care and with all the special equipment that she may need. And it is the best way to help me care for her all the way around!