Hospice Helps With Pain Management At the End of Life

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The change in Dad was amazing. My gratitude, to hospice, is unending. Dad was given a very small dose of morphine. His breathing was regular, he was relaxed. He even smiled with recognition when I went to see him each morning. The hospice pastor and the social workers were good with Mom. Of course, the nursing staff and CNAs at Rosewood, who knew them both so well, were part of the team. They were, as always, exceptional.

It was so obvious to me that Dad was more content and physically comfortable, and when he slept, he slept well. I can't even remember how long Dad lived with hospice care. Being at Rosewood was so much of our lives that nothing much really changed except for Dad's level of comfort. He was comfortable for the first time in months. Mom saw that and felt better. The whole family felt better. Dad was as close to being himself as his demented mind would let him be.

Of course, his health continued to go downhill. We knew he was dying. Late one day, Sarita called me at work and said Dad was slipping. She said I should probably come over. I called my sister, Beth, and then went right over to Rosewood. Beth drove her 40 miles into town, and met me there.

We sat with Mom and then sat with Dad. We held his hands, touched him, talked to him, and traded places to keep supporting Mom. She couldn't bring herself to sit with him. She wasn't strong enough and she wasn't totally comprehending what was happening.
 
The nurse came in to turn Dad and wipe his skin off. He seemed to rally some (not unusual, before death, I now know). He seemed good for awhile, so Beth left to drive back home and take care of her kids and dog. She had no more than gotten on the road, when the nurse said quickly, "Carol!"

I slid next to him and held him, as his body slipped into death. For the first time in a decade, I felt my real dad with me. His spirit was freed from his body. I was crying, both with grief and joy.

 
 

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JenJilks

Give a Hug

Jan 2, 2009

Great article, Carol. This is a huge issue.

I know that my father was in pain. In his case he sang, LOUDLY, when he was experiencing it. I had to fight long and hard, but fight I did - for more pain relief. I wish I had fought harder and sooner. My deepest regret.

I did figure out how to work through the Ontario health care system. It was not easy.

 
 

Thanks, Jen.

Fighting for pain relief is hard. I had to fight to get the doctor to put my dad on hospice care, even though the nursing home people knew he should be. The doctor said he slept, therefore he wasn't in pain! Nonsense. It was obvious that he was in pain.

As soon as he was under hospice care (with the help of a very tenacious nurse), he relaxed and was able to receive the love offered. His pain was abated. But it was a long fight.

We all have regrets. I regret I didn't touch more than I did. I had so much to "do" with so many people needing me. I should have slowed down and touched more. But I can't go back.

We can both share with others our triumphs and regrets. That's how we move forward.
Carol

 
 

kimisme

Give a Hug

Nov 4, 2009

i have been thinking that i would like to help people cross over. to give comfort & help them pass peacefully.
could this be a job.
i feel it would be very fullfilling to do this.

 
 

JenJilks

Give a Hug

Nov 4, 2009

There are a great many Hospice groups across the continent. They run (in Canada) on 30% taxpayer dollars, and depend upon donations. Volunteers are given mileage in return for their time and energy. There are various training programs, peculiar to each district or region. For example: http://www.nhpco.org/

All health care practitioners SHOULD be trained in end-of-life and geriatric care, but many are not required to have these specific qualifications.

 
 

Hospices have volunteers and hire people, so it could be a paying job. To be hired, you'd need some training. But it's a rewarding field for many.

Carol

 
 

charlene66

Give a Hug

Feb 17, 2010

I have been a hospice volunteer. It has been rewarding. Some family members don't want their loved ones to die alone, or there is no one, so when the time draws near some groups have volunteers rotate shifts to sit with the patients. I did this once, and it so happened she passed while I was there. It was an overall good experience and I would do it again. kimisme should look into volunteering or job shadowing if she feels call into this work.

 
 

pamela6148

Give a Hug

Mar 31, 2010

I have just come from my moms house. She got a letter from Hospice. Now I'm curious, she kept asking me to read it and I kept saying no because it was mixed in with a lot of paperwork and I didn't want to disturb it. I'll be ther 2morrow and will take a look at it. But I do have a question about this.

My mom is 90, she doesn't have cancer which is mostly associated with hospice, (or atleast I thought) so I'd like to know if possibly someone referred her, or someone phoned to have them contact her. The caregiver said they probably sent it due to her age, I don't know. But mom asked me if hospice deals with people who are dying. I said I believe they serve many purposes.

Can someone answer this question for me, how did they get in touch with my mom and has this ever happened to anyone else, hospice contacting you before you contacting them?

 
 

pamela6148

Give a Hug

Mar 31, 2010

I'm sure there is someone out there who can give me info on Hospice.

 
 

kimisme

Give a Hug

Mar 31, 2010

thank you for the responses. i just figured out that i had them. one step at a time & it will all work out.
peace to all
kim

 
 

pamela6148

Give a Hug

Mar 31, 2010

Can someone tell me who my mom ended up with a letter from Hospice. That's all I wanna know.

 
  •  Comments 1 to 10 of 16 

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