One of the worst parts of Dad's death was that I had to tell Mom, each day, over and over, that Dad had died. She couldn't keep the concept in her mind. But hospice grief counselors and the pastor were there to help Mom cope, and the rest of us could get any help we felt we needed.
Meanwhile, Mom's pain was ever increasing. We believed she had cancer that was spreading from her colon to her bones, but she was too weak to handle tests or treatments, so comfort was all we were after. Her pain was far too severe to be just arthritis.
Once again, I talked with the Rosewood nurses about hospice care. This time it was for Mom. And this time it was easier. As soon as hospice put mom on a bone cancer pain killer, she was pain free. This was the first time she had been without pain for decades. Gradually, they needed to add morphine. Five months after Dad's death, Mom died peacefully, with Beth and me cheering her on. Hospice brought Mom through, to a peaceful, pain free death.
Many people think hospice workers only go into people's homes. They do go to homes – homes of all kinds. They can arrange for volunteers to sit with the sick person, in his or her home. They can arrange for hospital equipment, if that helps the comfort level. With my parents, hospice also helped them die at home. Their home happened to be a nursing home. But, none the less, it was home to them.