Knowing where you would like to live is easy. Most of us want to live in the home we are already in and few of us want to find ourselves living somewhere unexpectedly.
Unfortunately, wisdom isn't the only thing that aging brings. It can also bring challenges that can sometimes make staying in the home you love, difficult, if not impossible. When a person faces these challenges, knowing where you need to live is not easy to decipher.
As a director for an agency whose mission it is to help seniors facing these challenges stay in their home for as long as possible, I know that sometimes despite valiant efforts, the decision to move a person into a setting that is better equipped to meet that person's needs has to be made.
On many occasions it is not the individual, but rather a caregiver, that is making the decision to move their parent from the home that they have lived in for so long and where they have created many memories. This is certainly not any easy decision for the caregiver, particularly when they have made a promise to their loved one to "never put them in a home." The feelings of guilt and the belief that they failed to keep that promise can be overwhelming.
The decision for a person to move out of their home into another setting will never be an easy one, but it can be made less difficult. As with many things in life, things usually go much smoother when you plan and do your research. Plan, plan, plan, plan, plan…it can't be said enough. Some may be asking themselves, "What am I supposed to be planning for?" The answer is aging. Though we may joke about getting older, very few of us actually plan on it happening.
It is similar to a hurricane. I live in Florida where we experience these devastating stories. It is remarkable how many people are not prepared for this event. The main distinction between hurricanes and aging is that aging hits everyone. So, I say again, you cannot plan enough.
Where should we start the planning process for deciding where we should live or where we will place a loved one should it become necessary? One of the greatest fears expressed by the elderly is placement in a nursing home facility. It is not uncommon to hear, "I don't want to end up in a nursing home" or "promise me you won't put me in a nursing home." People tend to believe that nursing homes are the only option for seniors when they can no longer remain in their own residence. The reality could not be further from the truth.
The living options for seniors needing assistance grows every year. There are assisted living facilities, family group homes, independent senior living facilities, skilled nursing facilities, and many more, including home care, intentional communities, and contiuning care communities. The first part of planning for an alternate living situation is to become aware of the various options available in your community.
The second is to understand that people have different needs and that certain living options are dependent upon individual needs. Living options are not "one size fits all."
The third part of planning is researching each type of facility. There are several things to bear in mind when researching facilities. First, caregivers must understand the term "least restrictive setting." The least restrictive setting is the one where the person maintains the most independence. A person's own home would be the least restrictive setting possible. A skilled nursing home would be considered the one of the most restrictive settings.
When you are thinking about the least restrictive settings you need to consider future needs. You want to make sure that the setting is one that will be able to accommodate the person's current and future needs.
This means that the ideal living situation is one that can provide for an individual's current and future needs while allowing him to maintain as much of his independence as possible. It is tragic when a person is placed in an environment that is too restrictive and unnecessarily loses years of independence. It is equally tragic when a person is placed in a setting that is very unrestrictive but incapable of meeting that person's needs. Ultimately the person ends up having to move again.
There are three primary alternate living options: independent senior living, assisted living facilities and skilled nursing facilities.