4. Aging Process
Children are actually more predictable than the elderly, Cohen says. "You know at 1 year, they walk, at 2, they talk. But with parents, their health can change on a dime. Suddenly, the adult child is thrown into this world of caregiving that they don't know anything about, and it's scary.
5. Financial
Caring for an elderly parent can be an unexpected expense. Some seniors planned ahead with long-term care insurance and such – and of course Medicare helps – but still too often, families are strapped with an unplanned financial strain. After all, it's hard to save for your parent's care when you're also saving for the kids' college. The good news is the financial world is coming up with solutions: Long-term care insurance, life settlements, guaranteed retirement incomes.
6. Siblings
Although they typically don't have much of a say in raising your children, siblings' votes do count when it comes to caring for parents. The situation is further complicated if some siblings live close to mom or dad, and others are out town. Resentment builds quickly when one sibling feels she is doing everything. Coordinating care among siblings is a difficult, but necessary task. This situation is one in with a third party can help: clinical social workers, geriatric care managers, and so on help the family coordinate care, and keep everyone informed.
7. Authority
Our whole lives, our parents have told us what to do – and most of the time, we listened. But in an elder care scenario, it's the child who is trying to tell the parent what to do, and can create unease and tension. But keep in mind, there may come a time when the child must speak legally and financially for the parent, so have power of attorney and other legal documents in place long before they are needed.
8. Complexities
When caring for an elderly parent, a whole new host of concerns and issues come into play: drug interactions, dementia, financial responsibility, and the list goes on. If the parent goes into an assisted living facility, adult children must be responsible for ensuring their parents are safe. Make sure the facility has the specialized services your parent needs, says Cohen, such as a dementia unit. If your parent enters the hospital, make sure you have an up-to-date list of all medications and non-prescription supplements your loved one is currently taking.
9. Quantity
While you can control the number of children you have, it is not as easy to control the numbers of elders you will be charged with caring for during your lifetime. With families extending through divorce and re-marriage, one person may care for as many as eight elders – including parents, in-laws and step-parents.
10. Work Issues
In addition to children of their own, many caregivers also have full-time jobs. Juggling responsibilities is tough. As the population increases, employees who are caring for elderly parents has become a productivity issues. As a result, employers are becoming more aware of the need for eldercare provisions and benefits for their employees. There is a long way to go in this area, but inquire with you and your spouse's employer regarding elder care benefits. "Being a caregiver is tough," Cohen says. "Being prepared, informed and organized can make the task a little easier."