Judy Thorburn
Cared for her mother until her death at age 91
Las Vegas, Nevada
At age 86, Judy's mother was the epitome of a healthy elderly person. She lived at home, took meticulous care of her home and her health. "Even in her 80s, she looked like she was 65." Then she was diagnosed with colon cancer. "She went downhill quickly," Judy recalls. Judy suddenly found herself caring for her mother full-time, changing her ostomy bag three times a day, cooking for her, helping her dress and bathe – all of the responsibilities that come with full-time caregiving.
Incredibly, Judy's mother beat the odds and was in remission from colon cancer. Then, a routine eye exam left her partially blind. Making matters worse, her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. Judy's caregiving duties took over her life, and she had to quit her job. "I was a model, and a journalist, but I simply had no time to work anymore. But I didn't have a choice. There was no one else to do it."
One of the most startling revelations for Judy was that her friends weren't there when she needed them most. Her friends suddenly disappeared, unable to deal with Judy's new life. Luckily, her husband was extremely supportive.
Eventually, her mother had to be put in a nursing home, but Judy's duties were far from over. "I started noticing black-and-blue-marks on her body. It turns out she was being abused by the nursing home staff." Judy found a new nursing home, and kept a vigilant eye, visiting her mother several times a week, even though the nursing home was 50 miles away.
Judy continued to care for her mother until her death at age 91. Judy attended the AARP conference as a journalist, having re-started her career after her mother's death. Living in Las Vegas, she is an entertainment reporter.
Next page: Another caregiver story.