How often should I visit mom when she first moves into the nursing home?

I agree. I think you should be visiting quite often and at different times of the day/evening/night. Yes, you want your loved one to feel comfortable and to get used to their living arrangements but frequent visits are best for them and for you so that you see how comfortable they are.

The question you should be asking yourself is this? Are you visiting to meet your Mom's needs or are you visiting to meet your need? I don't know if your Mom has Alzheimer's disease or not, but if so, it is reccommended that you don't go for the first 2 -3 days so that #1 - your mom gets acclimated to her new environment and #2 - the staff gets acclimated to her and learns what works and doesn't work for your Mom and her needs. My personal example is this? My family and I just moved my Dad into an Alzheimer's Assisted Living environment... we too were asked to give a period of time to allow Dad/Caregivers to adjust. I hated it, I wanted to make sure he was okay, I felt like the community was trying to hide something from me. But they are not. They just dont want your Mom to think she may be going home with you each time you come to visit her in those first few days. If this happens for your mom, essentially, she would be moving up three steps and then back two on a daily basis. This is not to say she wont feel this way when you do visit in 3 days or 5... but, the initial move in period of time allows the care staff to learn what calms your Mom down when your not there. I feel like I am rambilng... but I know your pain - I really do. Again, just ask yourself who's need am I meeting by visiting? I hope this helps.
Now if she is just in a residential non-alzheimer Assisted Living- go visit - now!!! :)

My mother has Alzheimers and I strongly suggest that you visit as often as possible the first week or two. While I think that that two step forward and one step back may make sense in some respects, ensuring that the care staff understands small considerations that you could never have remembered to share is extremely important. My mother is cold natured and doesn't like air conditioning, she is very, very private and needs asssurance when disrobing, she doesn't drink milk, coffee, .....Her scalp is sensitive and requires a brush rather than a comb, she has very dry skin,........ These things will make her day better and that makes it easier on the staff. Of course they would learn some of these things over time. Those little things are important and given the three shift changes at the nursing home, the day off rotations etc. it was easier for all of us to spent a few days working with the care staff helping them to understand my mom. After that, we were all in a better place. By the way, my mom has lost the ability to communicate.

I also requested a female CNA to take care of my Mother as she was more comfortable with that situation as far as bathing, dressing, etc. If your loved one has an allergy or sniffles request the doctor/pharmacist to give a non-drowsy tablet during the day and the other at night so that they can sleep at the appropriate times. My Mother was given a drowsy tablet at breakfast and, of course, she wanted to sleep all during the day. I would then receive phone calls that Mom was up most of the night. I am not a pharmacist nor a doctor, but I could figure that problem out right away. Many phone calls were directed to me stating that I would have to hire on another nurse for the night hours as Mom was awake too much. Yes, their internal clock is off with dementia and that is a symptom. The correct drowsy/non drowsy meds given at the correct time of day is a huge help. I would set my alarm clock for 1:00 a.m. and unexpectedly /unannounced make a visit and Mom was asleep but the staff was too. When Mom woke up she was just fingering her sheets/blankets and back to sleep she went. She was not up or walking around and besides our expense was for extended care.

My mother was just admitted to a memory care unit in an assisted living facility. Most of my friends stated that I should limit my visits, but I do not agree. If I didn't check up on her, I wouldn't have known that she wasn't feeling well (dizziness and weakness) and she was spending most of her day in bed. I reported this to the nurse. The nurse told me that she didn't feel that this was serious. She further stated that if I did, I could take her to the hospital myself. I don't like this nurse, but I stated to her that I wanted the doctor to visit my mother. I plan on following up on this request the next day. If the staff knows you are there and care for your love one, then they will do more. If not, then they will not bother. The caregiver needs to be on top of their love one's care. If my mother's health does not improve, I will remove her from this facility. However, she just moved in so I will give it some time.

My mother is still at home with me but I have visited a care facility that has units for Dementia patients just to get her on the waiting list. The facility is Masonicare in Wallingford CT and when I asked they said I and my siblings could visit as much and whenever we wanted. I then asked "even 2 AM in the morning?" and the administrator saud, "Absolutely. We encourage family to come by whenever they want."

My Mother is not at this point yet. However, she recently broke her hip and because my siblings and I do not live in the same state she chose to go into a rehab/nursing home center to do her rehabilitation and recouperation. The week I admitted her it was very important that I spent as much time with her as possible. You wouldn't believe the amount of work it takes to get them comfortable, everything there, and a schedule worked out for them and the staff. I found that it was best to go in the afternoons or evenings. The center that my Mother is in allows family members to eat with them for a $2.00 fee per person. I found that by the end of the first week she was doing her own thing and only needed a phone call sometime during the day. Then I would usually go and have dinner with her. I didn't want to cook for just myself anyway! We enjoyed these times together and our conversations helped her break the ice with others in the center. Now she has a number of people she eats with and enjoys. She will be there for several months. Luckily my siblings have also been able to go out for long week ends and for the holidays. We will continue this until she is able to go home. If she were there as a permanent resident I would say visit daily for the first few weeks. Then slowly step back to give yourself and her some breathing room. I believe my parents visited my grandparents about every other day to every 3 days once they were used to their situation.