Q: Mom lives with me and I work full-time. I want to hire home health care, but she refuses to let a stranger in the house. What should I do?
A: You don't mention whether your mother acknowledges that she need some help while you're at work. If she does recognize that she can't stay alone all day, perhaps another solution would be for her to attend an adult day care program.
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On the other hand, if she is in denial about needing help, her objection about the stranger may simply be masking the real issue. If it really comes down to her fear of a stranger, consider having the person come the first few times while you (or someone you mom trusts) will be at home.
Leave for a short time and return. The next time, leave for a bit longer. Perhaps in this way you can get your mom to overcome her fear.
Keep in mind that any type of change can be frightening for an elder and fear of the unknown can be intensified, especially if there is any type of dementia starting. If you haven't already, get everyone in the family and his friends to help promote the benefits of having a caregiver.
Sheri Samotin is President of LifeBridge Solutions, specializing in helping elders and their families with family transition coaching and medical billing advocacy.
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