How do you help a depressed elder when they lash out?

Another complication is that often poor nutrition compounds the emotional impact of frail bodies. It is important to check that nutritional needs are being checked, especially vitamins D and B.

What can we do if mom has suffered from depression on and off most of her life, and refuses to acknowledge it? She is very anti-doctor, and flat out refuses medication and certainly therapy.

my mom is depressed, and refuses to take medication because she doesn't like taking pills! She has been healthy most of her life with the exception of breast cancer. She simply has become depressed and refuses to admit she is depressed. she says shes 80 yrs. old and tired, there is nothing wrong. What can I do when she shuts down with me.

My father did the exact same thing. His doctor suggested that he see a psychiatrist, and Dad refused. Dad also refuses to even entertain the notion of taking an anti-depressant. He considers it "beneath" him, as if it's a sign of weakness. Life would be so much easier for my husband and me if my father would take an anti-depressant.
Sgpinked, you could try talking to your Mom's doctor in private about your Mom's situation. It's worth a try---maybe he can make more headway presenting his opinion and options to her.

My mother is 95 and in a nursing home which she hates for the past 5 years. She now insist she is dying and wants all her children by her bed side all the time. She is having the staff to call us constantly crying and screeming all hours in the day and night. Is there anything we can do to help her?

My 93 year old mother, living in a nursing home, has decided she, too, wants to die. She refuses to eat or drink anything. Yesterday, they put in an IV, but she keeps trying to pull it out. She has just given up...she is on medication for depression and anxiety, but she is determined that she is done. She told me to just let her go...that if I loved her, I would do what she wishes. Her sisters and brothers all agree that she has given up and none of us know what to do.

Marty, I just heard about a case similar to yours last week when I was talking to a friend. She and her family were going through a difficult time as you are---Her mother ( in her 90's) had had a series of serious health problems and she sensed that it was "time" to go. She told her children this and that she was going to cease eating and allow her body to die. She said to them: "Don't make this hard for me." My friend said that yes, it was indeed very hard, but they did acquiesce to their mother's wishes. Every case is unique and this is your family's and your mother's business and decision to make. I just wanted to tell you this story because I had just heard this from my friend.

I think expressing a wish to die can be a form of release and expression for some older people. It is a way of saying just how much they have lost and that they understand the reality that it is not going to get better.
My father hated going to a nursing home and later when he became incontinent he really hated it and often said he wished he could just die.
I understand there are times when a person needs an anti-depressant but not always.
I think my dad's expressions were TRUE, PRACTICAL, feelings related to his condition. I will feel the same way. Saying he just wished he could die is what he felt and feels and he has a right to feel that way without someone freaking out and prescribing all kinds of medications to him - in hopes of what? fogging the reality of his situation.
So they have put my dad on all kinds of stuff and now he is not himself. I prefer him.
Now he knows he cannot express himself to anyone except me. Now he knows if he says --- god I wish I could die, or just someone please shoot me and get it over with.-- that someone will rush out and put him on a new pill. So now he just has to keep quiet about his feelings.
I think this is a shame. If you feel like dirt and you want to say it, you should be able to without worrying about some social worker drugging you up.

You may not be able to handle it or make it better my husband wanted to die for years and had been in a coma for 1 week a few years ago and he said he wished he had died. The year that he did die at age70 he gave up stopped going to PT which he had loved and told me he could not go home and when he got critical I think he will ed himself to die what I would be worried about is there soul I know my husband loved THE LORD and was a beliver and I am assured he is now in the glory of God the best you can do is to make sure that the person is able to talk to clergy if they are not interested at least you did all you could. My husband had a roomate who refused PT always said he was tired his ex would come in every day with a cup of coffe and a newspaper and his kids encouraged him to get up the answer was I am too tired one day I went in and his bed was empty and my husband said he had died - I said he told them he was too tired his last days were spent fighting with everyone that was sad. After DNR's were accepted I spent time with pts. just holding their hands I would want that if I was ready to leave this earth. I heard of a nursing home that has a cat who knows when someone to close to the end and will go and lie with a dying person until the end-I think that is great.

When I take the dog to the nursing home to visit everyone lights up. People who can't or don't want to communicate will show interested in the dog and many want to pet her.
I wish that all nursing homes had dogs and cats living at the places but I suppose they cannot because people could trip over them.
That is the only reason I can think of not to have pets at the nursing home.