My years of caregiving have left me depressed and broke. How do I get my life back?

As a young lady, 21 I lived with my grandparents and cared for my Grandfather... I do understand how you feel. I would encourage you to get some help as Carol said. Join a support group for caregivers and get some home health care. A nurse and even a home care aide for help and support. If you are having financial problems check into what is available where you are. For example we have elderly waiver in Iowa. Check with your local area Agency on Aging.. What you are doing for your Mom is admirable, and I am sure she is grateful. However you do need to take care of you too... take care, J

I just want you to know that I know exactly how you feel, I came across this page looking for someone with my problems and I found you. I am almost 25 years old and have been taking care of my mom with my dad (who doesnt really care) since I was about 16. I have been drowning since then. I graduated from college but have no motivation to do anything but stay home and make sure my mom is ok. Im scared to get a real job and not be around. I go to sleep every night not knowing if that night will be my last with my mom. She is sick all the time, the diabetes has forced her to amputate her leg, she cant walk much even with a prosthesis. There comes a point where you just want to end ur life because u cant take the pain of watching someone u love suffer day in and day out. THe only reason i dont end my life is because i know it would break her heart. I have has aspirations to move out, get on with my life, that all just seems so pointless now. I feel like im 50 as well, just living to do the same things every day. I also feel like some people can see me dying inside but no one can help me. Anyway I just wanted to let you know ur not alone, i hope things work out for u.

I just want to say sorry for your pain. It is very sad and frustrating what you are going through. I'm not certain if it will make you feel better, but what you are describing is what most of us go through. Our situations are different, but the feelings are not. Checking with a therapist can be a lifesaver, and consider asking for an evaluation and medication from a psychiatrist to get you over the shock to your system - this is not all in your head. The physical symptoms are real and will drag you down.

The good news, although you may not see it that way is that you have a long life ahead of you so just take it a day at a time. If you are holding off on some dreams, it doesn't mean you can't pursue them a bit later. Just make certain that you get the help to bring your outlook and mood back to a more even keel. As far as finances go, don't let the big picture make you freeze up.

Imagine a box. Put all of your problems in it. Resolve to take one out to deal with at a time. (OK, sounds easier than doing it, but it will help restore your sanity). First get better & get some sleep. Second, deal with the immediate problems. Third, don't compare yourself or dwell on the people who are not there to support you. They lose by not being there for you - just focus on the good and the right people will help you find your way.

The most important thing to do is don't dwell on negative things when you are that down, pull yourself out of it, and later when you feel more in control, you can deal with those emotions.

Take care, people who are in their 40's and 50's feel the same, you are not alone.

I am in very similar situation. My mom has been battling blood cancer for over 10 years now. I am now 24 so imagine how long it's been. All throughout junior high, high school, college and now graduate school. When I went away to college, I would get phone calls from hospitals all the time asking me to come ASAP to see my mom. My mother spends no less than 5 months in the hospital every year. She's celibate and I'm her only child. Sometimes I wonder what my mother has done to suffer like this and it kills me so much that there is nothing I can do about it. She's always sick and it is a miracle that she is still alive. But what is the point of living if you are in pain for most of the year ? She's also very religious and has a lot of faith. However, I am starting to have doubts over the existence of a God because I don't understand why he would let my mom suffer for so long. Unlike some of you who live with your mother, I choose not to for the simple reason that I am in graduate school and I will not be able to focus if I lived with her. I do visit from time to time and come home when I'm on vacation. But I hate coming home now because whenever I do, she's always sick and ends up going to the hospital. I get very depressed and angry. Not at her but at life. If God is indeed real, all I ask from him is to heal my mother. I don't care about being rich or famous or whatever. I just want to see my mother to be healthy again. Is that too much to ask ?