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How can I help my parent manage her financial information?

Jon Beyrer, CFP, EA

The job of caring for elder relatives often includes helping them with their finances in some fashion, from checking that the utility bills get paid or the tax returns get filed, to taking over the financial management completely.  As important as it is to make sure the lights stay on, you may meet some degree of resistance when you try to help with the finances. For many elders, being able to take care of their own finances is an important symbol of independence and self-worth. Consequently, they may hold on to the checkbook like it’s a life preserver in stormy seas.

For many caregivers, the resistance you get and the feeling that you are invading your relative’s privacy may leave you less than completely aware of your elder’s finances. You may not know where the important information is, what bills need to be paid, or if there are important deadlines that need to be kept. If you wait until the elder becomes incapacitated to broach the subject of paperwork, the elder won't be of much help, and locating important documents can be a much more difficult process.

To avoid such a circumstance, you should make sure that you or another family member knows where to find personal documents, such as income tax returns, powers of attorney, wills and living wills, health and life insurance policies. In addition, a family member should be familiar with the elder's financial resources and obligations, including bank accounts, pension plan, annuities, investments, and real estate. Organizing this information in advance can save time and frustration later.

A List for Emergencies

A good place to start is to create a list of the important information you would need to know in case of an emergency. Your elder may want to keep such a list in her possession but tell you where to find it, or she may prefer to give it to you. She may also prefer to keep certain information with a trusted third party such as an attorney or accountant.

The list might be a simple description of where to find important documents. For example, the elder might write, "There's a gray metal file box in my closet that contains my safe deposit box key, my insurance policies, the deed for my home, and a listing of stock certificates. My checkbook and current bills are located in the top left desk drawer. My attorney John Johnson has copies of my will, living, and trust agreements, and my accountant Mike McMichael has copies of my income tax returns." Your elder also may want to include a list of friends and relatives who should be contacted in a serious emergency or upon her death.

List of Important Documents and Information

Documents:

  • Wills
  • Trusts
  • Durable Powers of Attorney
  • Advance Health Care Directive (Living Will)
  • Insurance or annuity contracts
  • House deed and mortgage note
  • Title to auto or other property
  • Health Insurance benefits statement and ID#
  • Asset statements

Information:

  • Important contacts: advisors, care representatives, etc.
  • Medical information
  • Bills and due dates
  • Mortgage and other loans
  • Utilities
  • Insurance premiums
  • Credit cards
  • Property taxes
  • Tax returns, estimated tax coupons, and due dates
  • Social Security Benefits 
  • Pension or annuity benefits

Organizing Information

Here are some strategies to help your elder organize and manage financial information:

Use a filing system

If your elder has a good system for keeping her bills in order, ask her to show it to you so you are familiar with it. If she doesn’t already have one, you can create a computer-based system using a program such as Quicken, or you can create a simple paper filing system. For a paper system, you can use a large, collapsible manila file, label a set of manila folders from A to Z, then place them in the file. When a bill is paid, the statement can be filed in the appropriate folder, such as "E" for electricity, and "T" for telephone. At the end of each month or at the end of the year, it will be much easier to match these statements with your elder's checkbook.  Ask her to keep her canceled checks and monthly checking account statements in the filing system. These are necessary to track direct deposits and some income tax deductions, such as charitable contributions or medical expenses.

Do an Annual Review

At the end of the year, help your elder make a list of all investments and sources of income: pension funds, stocks, bonds, annuities, rental property, etc. Each of these will generate financial information that must be reported on state and federal income tax forms. If you have a master list that is updated at the end of each year, you'll know what to look for the following year.

Keep Track of Deadlines

Set up a "tickler file" to remind your elder when a tax deadline or other important deadline is approaching. April 15 is the deadline for federal income taxes, but many seniors also must pay quarterly estimated taxes, which are due on April 15, June 15, September 15, and January 15. Ask your elder for a copy of their estimate tax coupons or a duplicate of Declaration of Estimated Tax.

If Your Relative Refuses Your Help

If the elder refuses your efforts to help, you may want to ask her to sit down with you once a month to review her bills, just so you can become familiar with the routine in case you need to do it for her one day. Even better, you can offer to enter the information in a computer-based system and review the summary printouts with her. Many utility companies will allow you to be listed as an emergency contact if the bill has gone so far past due that the service is in danger of being discontinued. Many institutions will allow your relative to request that you receive duplicate statements or that you be allowed to access information about your relative’s account.

Although helping your elder manage their financial information may be a lot of work, it may be necessary to protect her from costly mistakes or from those people that might take advantage of her. And having a handle on her affairs today will make things a lot easier for you or other family members when she’s no longer able to explain things to you or help you find important documents.


Jon P. Beyrer, EA, CFP® is the Vice President of Financial Planning at Blankinship & Foster, LLC, a Registered Investment Advisor in Solana Beach, California. Mr. Beyrer earned his Master of Science Degree in Financial and Tax Planning from San Diego State University. He is licensed to use the Certified Financial Planner and CFP® marks by the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, and is enrolled to practice before the Internal Revenue Service. Beyrer is a member of the Financial Planning Association and currently serves as the association's Public Relations Director. He is also a member of the La Jolla Estate Planning, Trust and Probate Section and the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors.

Comments (1 to 5 of 5)

JennaLynn said
Nov 29, 2008

Can anyone help? My mother, who is 57 years old, is suffering from a complete degerneration of her left hip joint. Her doctor has advised a total hip replacement as soon as possible. The problem lies in that my parents have NO insurance. Due to my mother's "pre-exsisting condition" she is difficult to insure, and even if she could find a company to insure her, the payments are so outrageous that my parents can't afford to pay the premium. I've looked into getting her on disability, but apparently the state in which we live, Oregon, has no such program. My parents don't own a home or property. They have minimal regular income. The hospital has agreed to work with us on a payment plan for the surgery, but even the payments would be difficult to bear. Any ideas on financial aid for this procedure? My mom is in constant, debilitating pain and NEEDS this surgery to regain her life.

jsereika said
Dec 9, 2008

what rights do other siblings have as to the financial affairs being handled by the one with power of attorney? Such as where the money is being spent and if mom's bills are being paid or if it this sibling is abusing the parent and using mom's money to pay her bills?

patrica61 said
Aug 1, 2009

Your information is very helpful too bad I did know everthing before I got involded in my mothers finances. The things I found would shock someone. There were over hundred of clothes( prices nevver taken off) that were never worn. Money, bills check books all over never balance. But I did on one visit to New York sit down with mom to find out where all important paper work was kept. Still today i hope I found all of it. i did even check with the credit bureau to make sure there was nothing oustanding on her history that would later on hit me in the face. Thank you for all the info sir, i printed it out for my husband since he is going to visit with his folks. You see they are Spanish and refused to listen to any one. I would go with him since I have been through all of this and have some legal knowledge, but I* have to be by mom in case something was to happen. patrica61

audreyh said
Aug 25, 2009

My mother is a widow who has recently sold her home without my sister or my knowledge. A cousin by marriage, similar in age, decided to "help" her with the sale. She moved in with him with her whole household except for 2 beds which makes things awfully crowded. As a 74 year old Alzheimer's patient who doesn't understand the disease and nor does the cousin, it is difficult to explain without mom feeling we are taking over. She shuts down on us, refusing to take our calls. She doesn't want to burden us and sometimes thinks we want her money (less than $10 K in the bank and her social security check). She has had more and more anger aimed at the cousin and her daughters but when she is fed and takes her meds, she is manageable. How can I get her to agree to power of attorney without declaring her mentally incompacitated? We just want her happy, healthy and cared for in an assisted living but she thinks it is for "old folks".

NAUSEATED said
Aug 26, 2009

Hi audreyh, it is so difficult, and every person and situation is so different. But, what I had to do with my Dad is file for Guardianship/Conservatorship, but first to get a letter from his doctor to declare him incompetent. The alzheimer's will get worse, so the sooner you take care of the formalities the better for all. With alzheimer's, I know with my Dad, he became, for a while, argumentative and hard to deal with, which made dealing with finances impossible. I had to get guardianship/conservatorship in order to get my Dad into an assisted living facility. Once I finally got him there, he was very happy, although skeptical at first. Good luck and blessings to you.

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