How do I get my sick elderly mother to eat when she refuses?

I have my mom in a nursing home because she has problem with her back and she can not walk. She has not eat anything solid for 3 month, I do try and take her some soup but sometimes most of the time she tells me she already ate, Oh She does have demention. But the aides at the nursing home tell me that she did not want to eat they do give her ensure sometimes. I say sometimes because they put it on the table but she does not drink it most of the time. All she does is look at the ceiling all day and talk to heself. And when I visit her she tells me how is papo or any other name of people that are dead for years. I am so scare for her and it really hurst to see her like that. She is in and out of the emergency every three weeks. Please help me and let me know what is the best thing to do.

Thanking you in advance

Isabel Ramos

The first thing that will help is to go to the DON and Administrator and tell them you expect to have a sit down meeting to define a careplan - the next step is to hold them accountable to it - do you have any family or mothers friends who can also come to take the burden from you?. When it comes to nursing homes unless you are there and proactive (think squeaky wheel gets the grease) no one will bother - right now letting someone sit all day staring at the ceiling and talking to themself is NOT OK....dementia or no. Review her medications; review her nutrition and discuss PT/OT with the activity director or physical therapist.
the hard part is that you must walk a fine line and not alienate these people - generally if the see you are there for your mom and care - and perhaps bring them a treat & tell the staff who care for her thank you for helping, it can help enormously. Many staff in nursing homes go home & take care of their own parents...good luck. I went throught that with my mother and was amazed at what attention and nutrition did for her. no miracles, but we do what they did for us as children.

i have worked with a lady too .she didnt want to eat . i gave her a shake in the mornings .it included one cup of milk. half a tsp of vannilla. two raw eggs . also a bannana . the vanilla is to give it a taste of sweet ness. all this was blended in a blender like a milk shake. believe she st artedto eat after that.

Raw eggs??????? Raw eggs usually are contaminated with salmonella....not a problem if proerly cooked, but raw, it is a prescription for infection and death for elderly patients.

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My problems are not so much my mother won't eat, but that she won't take her medications. She's decided she'd rather just die. I told her the meds would improve her quality of life. Part of the problem is that my father is a retired physician and tells her those prescriptions are "meddlesome medicine".