AlzCaregiver

Hi yeah that sounds great. But i don't have a facebook is any other way of me being able to get there? Thanks

Bravo to your message to the Florida girl whose dad may become a pimp. I am concerned not having heard of her.

I must ask ... is that your cat rolling a watermelon in Puget Sound?
Love the photo!

How are you & Mom doing?
I think YOU should be writing a screen play!

Cheers ~

Rip

You are right in that there are millions of us all across the country who are dealing with this same situation-and wouldn't it be nice if we knew each other? How nice that you have been able to overcome the negative feelings created before you arrived and to have the neighbors include your mom. Stay strong and many blessings to you and your mom. My mom no longer sees REAL people, only her imaginary friends, which is so sad. Take care.

I totally agree-we are only human, and HAVE the feelings (knowing my mother would absolutely does NOT want to be as she is now) that mom have a peaceful passing-it doesn't really mean we WANT them to die, but we want them to have dignity, and this disease robs them of it. What we want is as you said, the freedom to HAVE the feelings, and not be condemned for them, because we know we would never ACT on them.
Wish we could all have a huge hug together-we need it.

Hi AlzC ~
You left a home on Orcas? Paradise in the NW??
That is 1000% dedication!
I'm on the Eastside, if that means anything to you.

I'm new here but reading up. Your comments are great.

I am so lucky to have a bright Dad who can be fun, ltho it's easier for him to call me to do anything rather than sitting in his chair.

You really are an angel, Carol!

cheers ~
Rip

God Bless You for your letter, I'm in a similar situation and have been at my wits end. Your letter gives me the tools to go on. HOPE

Thank you for sharing your very helpful advice. I am going to implement what you suggest as soon as I am able to. I am at a distance, but I can certainly mail her the signs to post and hopefully my disabled brother living with her can post them okay. Great ideas and I should think will help a great deal. My mom is a friendly person and when someone comes to her door, she's happy to see someone and chat, but this is very scary at her age and in today's world. Thanks so much again. Best wishes to you !!

Thanks for the co-dependency post! I must add that my MIL goes beyond ""A codependent often suffers from a 'Messiah Complex' where he sees problems with everyone and sees himself as the only person who can help. Here is where I need to work...trying to be 'Mr. Fixit' for everyone...even those who don't feel they need anything fixed." For her, she's perfect like God died and left her in charge type person and the problem is everyone else includeing both of her daughters and each son in law whom she wishes would cease to exist or at least leave her daughters and then life would be perfect. Very often two people are co-dependent upon each other and feed off of each other. If one changes the dance, the other gets very angry which is what my wife finally did or we would not be married right now.

AlzCaregiver, Thanks for the post concerning Co-dependancy. I have known of my own co-dependent traits for some time now, but have not connected them to my care-giving for mom. It adds a whole new demension to our home life, and I am grateful to you for pointing out the possibility, so that now I can begin to work through it and see if perhaps this work can improve our lives. Ted.

Dear AlzCaregiver,
It's so wonderful and refreshing to hear someone speak from expiernce and heart. To many times the "rose colored" glasses cloud common sense and good judgement. I feel this is big reason that caregivers and the elderly end up in bad situations. We all want the best for our elders, but,come on, we can do only those things within our power. We are "caregivers",not "super heros". Learning this lesson in the beginning,will go far in saving your sanity! Thank you, Thank you, SD