When your mate was selfish and arrogant prior to his illness. Now he very rarely communicates.

For some reason, folks with dementia frequently treat their loved ones and primary caregivers like absolute crap while treating staff in managed care like solid gold. I've witnessed this myself, unfortunately, with my mother who was always a phony baloney kissy-face to outsiders and a tyrant at home, but it was super magnified once dementia set in. She'd be saying horrible things to me one minute, then turn on the charm the moment a caregiver entered the scene! It was frustrating beyond belief, for me, because she had the world convinced she was Miss Sunshine while she was stabbing them in the back as soon as they'd leave the room. I'm sure she suffered from a personality disorder, but those who REALLY suffer are the family members who see the REAL personality.

I chose to keep limited contact with my mother even though I was all she had too. In reality, she "had" all the staff she'd sucked up to all those years and so does your husband. Dementia or not, if they know enough to treat only certain people badly, they know what they're doing. Period. Save yourself from the toxic fumes your husband emanates. He doesn't want to communicate with you, fine. You don't have to knock yourself out trying to. Limit your contact with him and save YOURSELF now because YOUR health matters too.

Best of luck to you.

Dementia robs people of their ability to use reason and logic, and also kills their empathy for others (due to how their brains are impacted by the disease -- they literally can't have empathy anymore).

Are you currently his PoA? If not, is anyone? Are his daughters? Is he in a facility permanently?

I would hand the care and management reins over to his daughters and let them know you will be on hiatus to take care of your health issues. Others on this forum have divorced spouses such as yours for a variety of reasons: to get out from under the caregiving burden, as an asset preservation strategy, etc. You may want to consult a certified elder law attorney before making any decision.

So sorry for how this is turning out. You MUST take care of yourself as a priority.

Perhaps because you say that you yourself now have health issues he doesn't want to bother you with his concerns, or the fact that he's always been "selfish and arrogant" has now just been magnified by the horrific disease of dementia.
OR...perhaps he doesn't recognize you as his "mate" any more and feels more comfortable sharing things with those that he sees 24/7.
There's no trying to figure out someone with a broken brain, so quit trying.
Instead just continue to be there for him if you want to, but I would probably limit how often you visit and for how long, as you and your mental health matter in this equation too.