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Hello,



My 84 year old mom is wetting herself 1-2 times a day and prefers to leave her wet clothes on until someone can help her change. It’s more than a little leakage, when she goes, she just goes. A friend, my sister and I have all talked to her about using an incontinence product and even provided some, but so far she’s resisting. She uses folded up towels to protect her chairs. I asked her why not try the adult diapers and she doesn’t like the idea of having something wet against her skin. Of course it doesn’t make sense since the products are designed to wick away the moisture and her clothes aren’t. Clearly her thinking skills are declining and also she’s probably wanting to put off any more changes in her life. Maybe we just keep bringing it up and eventually she’ll get used to the idea? Any thoughts?

You can try replacing her regular panties with incontinence panties which are extra absorbency:

https://a.co/d/4R3lZNf

Get mom into her doctor for a cognitive exam soon because it's likely not safe for her to stay alone anymore. If she'd rather ruin all of her furniture and clothing with urine output rather than confront the issue, she's probably suffering from dementia.

My mother was "resistant" to wearing Depends pull-up's herself. Until one day we were on the elevator in her Assisted Living building and she emptied her bladder fully right there on the carpeted floor! She about had a cow. From that point forward, she had no issue whatsoever wearing Depends. She also had dementia so there was no reasoning with her.....she had to FEEL the need for change herself. She'd have died of embarrassment had she let loose in the dining room in front of her lady friends, as we all, would.

Good luck to you.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Hello Ginny's Mom, I'd like you to see this pair of ladies underwear.
(Imagine I have a pair in hand to pass to her to see & feel). They fit very similar to regular underwear, people tell me they are quite soft & comfortable. Also, people tell me they don't feel wet if there any little accidents.

Some people call them 'pullups'. I find them to be a practical type of underwear to wear as we get older.

I'd like you to TRIAL them for 3 days. After that, let me know what you think.

From: another daughter 😀
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Reply to Beatty
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My aunt had the same concern and she used feminine hygiene pads. The only problem with that is, she wouldn’t change them enough and she kept getting UTI infections. So, the same with adult diapers, if you can’t get them to change them often enough, then the UTI infections will continue. Someone needs to try to make your mom understand that she needs to change once she has an accident.
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Reply to Zephyr1961
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BurntCaregiver May 6, 2024
Feminine hygiene pads are not incontinence products. They aren't made to absorb urine. A person urinating is very different than having a period.
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The usual strategy is to remover her current underwear and replace it with the incontinence product, so she doesn't have a choice.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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