She is still lives in her condo, still has CNA only 3 mornings/week - refuses any additional paid help, though she has long-term care ins. When I posted last Fall, she had developed a CDiff infection after an in-hospital procedure to drain her hip bursa. After 6 wks in rehab, she insisted on returning to her condo. (I refused to take her home; she persuaded her aide to transport her.)
I was amazed at the time that yet again; she had appeared to be at death's doorstep but pulled through. She has been treated for CHF, stage 3+kidney disease, HBP, autoimmune bleeding disorder, a variety of infections & more for at least 15 years and has been hospitalized more times than I can count with stents in the ICU and multiple blood transfusions. She had serious mobility problems before then, arthritis & broken hip repaired 2 1/2 yrs ago, but was slowly & painfully walking with her rollator before the bursitis episode. Since then, she can only get around by sitting in her rollator and pushing with her feet. She has a wheelchair but won't use it - she can't clear her bedroom doorway with it. She spends most of her time in bed anyway.
Her hip pain has been increasing & she received 2 cortisone shots over the last six weeks - she had to find a new ortho to give them to her; her previous doc refused, saying her risk was too great for infection &/or bone collapse. The shots didn't help, her pain has kept increasing, and yesterday she couldn't move at all and was complaining of abdominal pain along with the hip pain - and looked terrible.
With great difficulty (& the use of a gait belt), her aide & I got her into the car and to the ER. Xray was clear, abdominal CT was clear, bloodwork looked good (at her usual baseline - how?!). She was hooked up to an external catheter since she couldn't move enough to get to the bathroom, even with assistance. She felt a lot better after a dose of Tramadol, and the ER doc said she could be discharged.
So, I'd like to thank you all for teaching me the phrase "Unsafe Discharge". I informed the doc that there was no way she could return home alone to her condo; aide was not scheduled again or available until Mon am, and I am not able to give her the assistance she needs. Doc relented, and admitted my mother for the weekend, with a referral for Mon to go to rehab for PT.
This, of course, is just kicking the can down the road again. My mother has been to rehab 5 times. She does the required PT there, when she goes home, they send PT to her condo & she does it there. When she completes PT, she goes back to spending her days in bed. She wears Depends, but I can't figure out how she's dealing with the bathroom situation when her aide isn't there. She can't dress herself, and there's no way she could put on a new pair of Depends. She informed me in the ER that she wants to get an external catheter for home use.
My mother is a retired RN (used to teach CNAs) and still making her own decisions. As I left last night she said: "I AM NOT GOING TO A NURSING HOME".
Thank you for reading this long post. It helps just to type it out. The only wisdom I have, for those who may be newer to this, is that your LO may very well live a lot, lot longer than you think, so factor that into your life plans.
I don't see what other choice you have unless you intend to just continue to do what you know isn't working for your own life.
When dad was in rehab and in no condition to leave, they would not release him to live independently. I had to get him into AL or leave him there in their Long Term Care section!
At some point, mother will not be released back to live on her own again. It may be this time, actually. That's when the "I'm not going to a nursing home" statement becomes meaningless as the choice is removed.
And if a Tramadol cured her pain, it's not too bad to begin with. See about getting her a prescription.
Best of luck with a very difficult situation, my heart goes out to you.
Sending support your way!