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6 7 8 9 10
I would have moved to another state years ago so I didn’t have to deal with my mother. She is extremely intelligent and manipulative and blames me for everything . She is 91 and very healthy but physically unable to get around so in assisted living. My husband and I have pledged to zero life saving medications or life lengthening medications for ourselves in order to not get her age.
(15)
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1 -- Don't expect to reason with a broken brain.
2 -- Don't expect to hear please and thank you; consider it a gift when you do.
3 -- Don't expect others to support you.
(24)
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Be cautious of others' intentions in your life. Some people only love you for what you do for them (or for the future caregiving they intend for you to provide.)
(15)
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That validating your decisions and listening to your truth and boundaries is number one.

Don't let the people you take care of, invalidate you. This journey is going to be more difficult than you could imagine. Things will change and you will learn more about yourself and your loved one that you sometimes care to, but do your best to find a healthy outlet, set up boundaries, and learn how to be there for them and show up for yourself.

You are doing your best, there isn't a manual for this. Sometimes, often, you will be the enemy even though you are doing the right things and protecting them. Keep your head up, the love is still there. Remember what you can control and concentrate on that.

Breathe, do mindfulness to emotionally regulate yourself and get some more tlc and therapy to help you along the way. It isn't your job to fix them, just help when and how you can. Boundaries=love, no matter how the other person sees it.
(12)
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One last thing I’d say to myself: Poodle, no one else will save you! You must do it yourself!
(11)
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You can't care more about someone then they care about themselves.

If you do, please fasten your helmet so it won't fall off while you are beating you head against the brick wall.
(22)
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Always have a plan. Your plan isn’t going to work.
(10)
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Beware! If there is ANY family dysfunction it WILL escalate exponentially!
(25)
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Strengthen myself physically and mentally to be able to sustain through the difficult times ahead. "Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world - Lucille Ball"

www.mycareprints.com
(5)
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Warning: "fasten your seat belt - it's going to be a bumpy ride!" Caution: "you are now entering the Twilight Zone......"
(14)
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I’d say to myself: Poodle, I’ve given you tons of wise advice. But the question is: do you have wise ears?
(6)
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Don’t stop working, get more help than you think you need.
(10)
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Remember me, my dreams, my ambitions.
(7)
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Put a time limit on your commitment to caregiving 24/7.
It is not sustainable, not healthy for you or the recipient.
(19)
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Don't "promise" anything that may require you to become their caregiver in the future. Even saying "I will be there for you" can be misconstrued by some that you will be at their beck and call.
(15)
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Don't allow guilt to break your boundaries and give more than you should and more than someone deserves.
(12)
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Don’t take it on! I say that 6 years into it. Never again.
(20)
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Take care of yourself first and set boundaries. Be aware that you cannot make they happy.
(13)
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It is mentally, emotionally and physically impossible to be all things to all people and admitting/acknowledging that is nothing for which to feel guilty.

Don't make promise that you don't know if you can keep.
(10)
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First take care of yourself...brew a cup of tea.

Accept that it is what it is...no fixing is going to happen.

Then provide comfort.
(8)
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Convince mom to get a cancer screening (do it when her doctor said the cancer lump first formed and not wait several years before it was noticed on her own at home) and hope she's willing to listen and follow through with the screening.

If she doesn't listen, be prepared to essentially give up everything, not have a life, and get very few breaks.
(3)
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Impress on the loved one to take care of themselves, and not focus so much on others.
(8)
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Say no more often.

Respite care.
(12)
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1) Boundaries = professional and mental survival.
2) Save for neurological problems that may be the cause, do not accept ongoing verbal abuse or being taken advantage of.
(14)
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Boundaries...in all areas.
(12)
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Don't wait until you are maxed out to talk to a doctor.
(11)
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Save yourself, then save others.
(15)
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Be prepared to have to choose between keeping them safe and making them happy. The realization that I could not accomplish both hit me hard.
(28)
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That your best is all you can do, and that that will be good enough.
and
You are just as important as the one you're caring for, so please make sure you are caring for yourself if you want to survive the journey, which often times can be longer than you ever thought or expected.
(19)
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That it can go on far longer than you ever imagined, and that people can (and do) live a long time as physically dependent as a newborn.
(21)
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6 7 8 9 10
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