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Both my older brother and sister (all of us in our 80s) have been diagnosed with Alz and I can only think I will be next. I have no children or anyone to act as caretaker as they do, so am considering moving into assisted living while I am still in charge. Currently, I live alone in my own condo, but find I am having difficult keeping it and me clean and eating meals as I should. My memory is still working, but I am depressed with my siblings' situation and worry about what's coming next for me. What are the negatives I should look for before moving into assisted living, I wonder?

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Wendsong, instead of thinking about Assisted Living, why not try Independent Living in a senior facility.

Independent Living is usually a 1 or 2 bedroom apartment, large living room, full size kitchen. The facility my Dad was in, had as part of the monthly rent, weekly housekeeping and linen service. There was a restaurant style dining room with menu. Dad loved being around people closer to his own age. Plus around the clock RN's.

This senior facility also offered Assisted Living for those who qualified, and Memory Care. After a time, the Staff recommended my Dad would do better if he moved over to Memory Care as he was found wandering and trying to leave the building late at night. The apartment in Memory Care was much smaller, Dad use to joke about his "college dorm room".

I would ask Dad every now and then what would he change about where he was living. And his answer was "nothing". Dad even said he wished he would have moved to that facility sooner, but he didn't know they even existed.
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If you are coming from a single family home there will be a huge adjustment, you will need to downsize in a major way and you will need to get used to having neighbours living right on your doorstep - for the more introverted among us that can be a very uncomfortable prospect. Since you are looking ahead and don't really seem to need the full suite of services provided in assisted living I wonder if you might consider looking for a place that offers a continuum of care, starting with independent living apartments that offer add on amenities.
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My brother & I tried to talk my mother into AL for 10 years as she was living alone on a mountain. in NC, dangerous for her. We lived over 700 miles away.

Then she had a slight stroke and was scared to stay alone at night, she kept calling the EMT's and they were starting to bill her $600 each time she called as there was nothing wrong with her.

My brother & I swooped in, brought her to Florida and I found a nice AL for her.

Well, now she says "I wish I had done this 10 years ago"! I love it, met new friends, don't have to keep a house up and have lots of activities.

She has a nice apartment with a small kitchen, the place has beautiful grounds so she can sit outside and enjoy the sun.

Go figure, she will be 98 next week and has been there for almost 3 years.
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You are very wise to make plans for the future this way, and starting with AL is a good first choice in my opinion.

I don't think are any negatives to AL except that your apartment will be a lot smaller (probably) than your condo now. Make sure it has Memory Care facilities attached to it as well, so if the time comes that you require more services, they are available to you w/o a major move involved.

The cost is another negative for most people who grit their teeth at paying $4-5K a month for AL.

Set up some tours of local AL/MCs in your area, and see what you think. Which one has the best all-around-package to suit YOU. Dining/entertainment/apartment/activities/care wise.

Do look over the contract you sign beforehand, looking for any oddities pertaining to 'moving out' or that they'll require 5 months notice; things like that.

Best of luck to you.
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I agree it's great to plan ahead. My Dad is in his 80s and in AL, and I see a lot of benefits, but a few drawbacks to prepare for. First, the schedule is not your own. My father struggled with the meal schedule because it wasn't exactly how he handled things at home (he tended to eat dinner late, then sleep in and have an early lunch, on his own). Small things like that can be frustrating if you have certain habits.
Also, he feels it's a little less private than he would like. Granted, if he doesn't want someone in his room (really more like a suite, it's very nice) he can just tell them no, and they will agree so long as it's not a medical emergency or something like that. But he's a pretty private person and it took some time to adjust to people knocking on his door and being in his space. Of course, they were doing that so they could clean it, do his laundry, make sure he was taking his medication, etc, all things he was not handling well at home — they aren't coming in just for random reasons. Again, once he adjusted to the schedule and let them know he was a night owl who liked to sleep later in the morning, it was fine. But really, it's those little things, the change of habits from home, that seemed to be the biggest frustrations.
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So sorry that you have this looming over your head. But I encourage you not to give up and give in. I would talk to your doctor about your concern and maybe have some baseline testing done now so you will know where you are. I would also do some research on what you can do to fight it off as long as possible - as I said don't just give in to it.

Being depressed is not going to help your memory situation. I would get into some therapy and maybe meds to help get you back on your feet.

Take some preventative action.
Get more active - this can be done at any age. Increase your activity little by little until you get to a good level (there are suggestions for daily/weekly minimums online).
If you have diabetes - clean up your diet, going much further with sugar/carb reduction than any dietician will suggest.
Stimulate your brain - puzzles, word games, sudoko, etc
Socialize - get out with friends more and/or the senior center
Eat brain foods - avocado, beets, blueberries, salmon, eggs and walnuts to name a few.
Follow the mediterranean diet
Take vitamin D
Take good care of your oral health

OK, assisted living is great. My mom, with dementia, has been in one for a few months. There is definitely an adjustment period. Like with any group of people, there will be some you like more than others, and some that might outright annoy you. Just try to go with the flow and be polite to the annoying people. Don't let them get to you. Take advantage of all the activities they have - this is how you will make friends which will be the best way to enjoy your stay there.

Yes, as mentioned, meals are on their schedule. Well, that's a little annoying but you can adjust to it. My mom's breakfast is a couple hours earlier than when I served breakfast but if you try not to be too set in your ways, it won't take long to get used to it.

The biggest thing it probably to go in with a good attitude and be flexible. I think it is an excellent idea to get yourself settled before any significant issues arise. You will be able to get to know the routine and the people and staff while you're still in a good place.

Best of luck!
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I applaud your thinking ahead!

My mom always ate breakfast in her own unit--she was never a morning person and wasn't about to change at age 90!

I like the idea of a week or month as a trial stay. Mom moved into one community where several family members were quite happy, but it wasn't at all the right fit for her. Interestingly, it was folks almost exclusively from HER ethnic/nationality group, but she had gotten used to a more diverse group of friends over the years, so was happier in a place that was more integrated.

My mother was always very interested in varieties of religious worship; one of her favorite things was going to each religious service, not just her own.
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Take tours of several different assisted living facilities. You will get an understanding of what life in one would be like. It may, or may not, be for you. You sound still very much 'together'. The meal thing is not a mental problem. All single people battle that issue. I am struggling with it myself. Eating is as much social as it is nutritional. Without company we (I) just am not interested in eating. Welcome to the club.
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I like the thought if AL. Mom was in a small one. The thing I didn't like was those suffering from Dementia were mixed in with those who did not have it. The other in my area (more expensive) had AL and MC. She had the choice of 3 separate size rooms. I chose her the small one. She had a small kitchen. Enough room to have your favorite dishes. A nice size fridge and microwave. Me I eat breakfast about 10am. So no lunch, I snack. Not sure if you pick meal plans. Mom had Dementia so she ate 3 meals in the dining area. The kitchen had cabinets if you want to keep cereal and bagels. Have lunch and dinner. The other place we looked at said their residents sometimes came down, picked up their food and took it back to the room. If u drive, u can keep ur car. Pick a AL that offers transportation to shopping and appts. And the communities are nice.

Alz does tend to be hereditary. It effects the brain differently than other Dementia's. I so hope your siblings make it easy for their LOs to care for them and realize they need to enter ALs too. One thing I would talk to ur Doctor about is Statins (Lipator for one). It has been proven they contribute to Dementia's. They do effect cognativity. You may want to go off them if you are on them for Cholesterol.

In my Dads family those who got ALZ started in their 70s. Out of 8 children 2 were diagnosed with ALZ in their 70s. They lived to be 83 and 89. Another Uncle lived to be 87, he had a stroke. 3 lived to late 70s and showed no signs of ALZ. Heart and stroke. One late 60s and one 53 both heart. So see, you may not even contract it. But good you are thinking ahead.
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My mother is in memory care at a large rural campus that has two independent living neighborhoods with houses and yards, an assisted living neighborhood of three buildings, and a memory neighborhood of four buildings. Best of all, they have their own new, modern rehab building on the same campus, several floors, and anyone who already lives on the campus has first priority for a rehab bed if needed. Even if you don't develop dementia, you will probably need rehab for an injury or medical condition in the future. Rehabs in general are notoriously awful, neglect and mistakes, so if you're planning ahead, make sure your plan includes a great rehab. What I'm describing is known as a continuing care community. Some people entering the community pay a very large down-payment and sign legal contracts to have all their resources go toward their care. However, the place where my mother lives also allows the option of paying month to month for assisted and memory care. Maybe you can choose a place near your nieces and nephews. Maybe even choose the SAME place as one of your siblings. That way, your nieces and nephews can check in on you when they visit their parent. Even in a great rehab, you will need someone to advocate for you. Good luck! Do it soon!
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