You havent given a lot of details. We know that you are POA, and that your parent has dementia.
One thing to keep in mind that is a very good point that I learned on the Forum: while there are things you cannot force or make happen as POA, you have power in being able to say NO to things that you cannot do, are not willing to do, and/or feel is ridiculous to do. Also look at your POA contract as far as what it says for you to do. But as others have said, this can be done most smoothly if she gets admitted to a hospital, then you could say she just cannot be managed at home. The hospital discharge planners and social workers can then make things happen
You mention that you have been designated main caregiver. If your parent is at home and has dementia, I'm guessing, but you are probably helping out a lot to make it all work in the house. So, no wonder she doesnt want to leave. What you could do, in a safe manner, is withdraw the amount of help you are giving, without becoming a safety risk. Tell her you just cannot support increasing needs at home, and its not feasible. Let her see a bit how things would be without help. She if she can do laundry by herself, clean the house etc etc. That could help change the decision on her part.
As for possible actions you COULD take? ITs true you cannot literally take her to AL kicking and screaming. Since she has dementia, can you get a doctor to write out a latter that she needs 24/7 supervision? Then you could say that its not feasible to provide that at home. IF your parent / family still dont agree to go to AL, you could even call APS and tell them your parent is unsafe at home, that the doctor has said she needs 24/7 supervision, and that you and family cannot provide that. It may get unpleasant, but APS can then push things through if they deem it an unsafe environment...
I probably already mentioned this but what happened with momma is that she fell again in her house and suffered two hemotamos. Went into rehab and then assisted living. The doctor said that she needed 24 hr care but I am blamed and have been paying for it ever since. Been five years now. I have tried to explain the reasons why she could not stay at home. Financial and other. She does not want to believe me. Does not understand. Whatever. I have explained to my siblings all of the reasons and they are the same as momma.
I'm just going to explain my situation maybe will help
My brother is POA, so I have no power. He will not admit that moms health and mind are failing. He has some major health issues of his own, along with 2 jobs and some of his own travel.
I was trying to pick up the slack, but I have no power to do anything. So I'm just waiting till he is not around and mom has a major issue and I can take her to ER, and I can say unsafe discharge. And if my brother brings her home then I'm going to wash my hands of them all.
It's hard , so hard leaving mom alone, and waiting for a catastrophe.
I'm sorry you are going through this.
What I tell myself every day is , I didn't cause this. This is not my fault. She has a house to pay for AL, this is there problem I didn't make it. There is a way out but everyone refuses to take it.
I just do the best I can do and spend time with mom but try to leave there problem with them.
One thing to keep in mind that is a very good point that I learned on the Forum: while there are things you cannot force or make happen as POA, you have power in being able to say NO to things that you cannot do, are not willing to do, and/or feel is ridiculous to do. Also look at your POA contract as far as what it says for you to do.
But as others have said, this can be done most smoothly if she gets admitted to a hospital, then you could say she just cannot be managed at home. The hospital discharge planners and social workers can then make things happen
You mention that you have been designated main caregiver. If your parent is at home and has dementia, I'm guessing, but you are probably helping out a lot to make it all work in the house. So, no wonder she doesnt want to leave. What you could do, in a safe manner, is withdraw the amount of help you are giving, without becoming a safety risk. Tell her you just cannot support increasing needs at home, and its not feasible. Let her see a bit how things would be without help. She if she can do laundry by herself, clean the house etc etc. That could help change the decision on her part.
As for possible actions you COULD take? ITs true you cannot literally take her to AL kicking and screaming. Since she has dementia, can you get a doctor to write out a latter that she needs 24/7 supervision? Then you could say that its not feasible to provide that at home. IF your parent / family still dont agree to go to AL, you could even call APS and tell them your parent is unsafe at home, that the doctor has said she needs 24/7 supervision, and that you and family cannot provide that. It may get unpleasant, but APS can then push things through if they deem it an unsafe environment...
My brother is POA, so I have no power. He will not admit that moms health and mind are failing. He has some major health issues of his own, along with 2 jobs and some of his own travel.
I was trying to pick up the slack, but I have no power to do anything.
So I'm just waiting till he is not around and mom has a major issue and I can take her to ER, and I can say unsafe discharge. And if my brother brings her home then I'm going to wash my hands of them all.
It's hard , so hard leaving mom alone, and waiting for a catastrophe.
I'm sorry you are going through this.
What I tell myself every day is , I didn't cause this. This is not my fault. She has a house to pay for AL, this is there problem I didn't make it. There is a way out but everyone refuses to take it.
I just do the best I can do and spend time with mom but try to leave there problem with them.
Best of luck to you
At home or was it in rehab?
Your view (& possibly other family members) is Assisted Living is required.
Maybe you see an unsafe living situation, many risks, falls or lack of hygiene?
Yet your parent doesn't agree.
Maybe says Oh I'll manage, yet cannot plan or problem solve? Pleasant but vague.
Or maybe hostile, refuses all help & tells you to butt out? A new (or long standing) stubborn streak.
Has anything been diagnosed that would effect thinking/cognition?