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I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)

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The tooth fairy paid me a quarter as a kid. What is the tooth fairy paying out now?
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“A penny for your thoughts?” Please, my thoughts costs at least a dollar in this economy.
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When did water start costing more than wine?
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I have discovered a great way to diet. I look at the price of food and lose my appetite.
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Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.
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I finally found a diet plan that works. It’s called the price of food!
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Packages that claim, “Easy opening” usually aren’t easy to open. It usually means just the opposite!

Everything is hermetically sealed these days!

I suppose that we have the Tylenol tampering from years ago to blame for packaging nowadays.

While I am on a rant, why do ‘no salt and no sugar items cost more? They are leaving out ingredients! Seems like they should cost less.
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X: Have a nice day! 🙂🙂❤️❤️
Y: Don’t tell me what to do!
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I’m not bossy…
I’m the boss.
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A bossy man walked into a bar…
Then ordered everyone a round.
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I'm not bossy.
I'm aggressively helpful.
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I'm not bossy.
I just have better ideas.
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😂
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My wife thinks I’m a trophy husband. 
Participation trophy, but still.
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An older husband and his trophy wife are on a hike when the sun starts to go down.

Husband: Don’t you think we should turn back?

Wife: Don’t worry I have a flashlight. Just a little further.

It starts to get darker as they enter an isolated swampy part of woods. Then the flashlight goes out.

Husband: Th-th-this is getting creepy.

Wife: You think this is scary? I have to walk out of here alone.
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Bundle, you are funny!
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We've been married for five years but it's only felt like five minutes...underwater.
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My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
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🙂 The word queue is ironic.
It’s just a “q” with a bunch of silent letters waiting in a line.
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🙂 What doesn’t kill you
disappoints me.
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🙂 You inspire my inner serial killer.
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So when is this “old enough to know better” supposed to kick in?
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🙂 Lying through your teeth doesn’t count as flossing.
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My wife and I have decided we don’t want kids.
If you’re interested, please contact us immediately to arrange dropping them off.
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Some husbands hold their wife’s hand in malls because if they leave her hand, she’ll go for shopping.
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“What the hell! Are you insane?!”

“What? Why? I thought we agreed we’re going to throw our sorrows overboard on this Caribbean cruise!”

“Yes, Roger, but that was my mother!”
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I helped my neighbour out with something this morning, and she said to me, "I could marry you."

I couldn't believe it...
You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return.
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During an argument with her husband, a wife was just about to calm down.
But then her husband asked her to calm down...
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My wife is my Strength.
All the other women are my weakness.
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No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.
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